I've been thinking about fate vs. coincidences. Do you believe in fate? I don't. But I have been thinking lately about coincidences.
July 1st is my one year anniversary in China. Before arriving, I spent three days in Washington D.C. at a Peace Corps preparation meeting. Usually this meeting is held in San Francisco, but this one time, they changed it to D.C. And because it was held in D.C., a male friend came to spend time with me that weekend before I left for China. In fact, he was the last person I saw before I left for the airport. But after that weekend, things were never the same between us. It's sad to me things changed. I still miss how things were before. And so I wonder: what if the Peace Corps had not changed the meeting location? What if I had gone to San Francisco instead? Would things between us be like they used to be? Or was it inevitable this would happen, regardless of circumstances?
As a non-believer in fate, I believe this coincidence is just one of those things that happens sometimes. I still have regret for things I didn't do and say that weekend, so at least I've learned what to do differently the next time I'm in this situation. And I'm sure the regret will fade with time. But I'm curious: do you believe in fate? Why or why not?
this is a great post. I DO believe in fate, destiny, whatever you want to call it. I just have a feeling that things will always end up the way they are SUPPOSED to, whether we get there one way or the other.
ReplyDeleteI can't tell you why I feel this way, but I just always have.
Congrats on your ONE year anniversary!
I think that your relationship with the guy still would have become weird, but the DC get together just sped up the process.
ReplyDeleteI don't really believe in fate because even if something is 'meant to be' people still have agency, and usually will screw it all up. I guess that's kind of pessimistic of me. Oh well.
BBS, I think it's nice to believe in fate. I can understand it, I guess the way some agnostics can understand believing in God even though they don't personally believe. I sometimes wish I did believe in fate, perhaps I would be a more peaceful person, but I just really don't.
ReplyDeleteMarianne, I think it was meant to be we are in the same family. I guess I'm pessimistic too. I think 'meant to be' is naive romanticism and I can't believe in that either. But I am, admittedly, not a very romantic person.
Thanks for your ideas, guys.
I think fate plays a role. I met my hubby on a beach in Cancun on Spring break. We are both from the burbs of Ontario Canada. Fate must have had a hand in that?
ReplyDeleteOne year in China. Wow. Yeah you. (sorry you don't have a tub though lol)
I'm not sure about fate. Being in the situation I'm in right now though, I do wonder.
ReplyDeleteAnd I don't do the "meant to be" thing either, it drives me insane......
Well, I believe in destiny. Its hard for me to grasp the rules of it, but I feel its a willed end to how my life is supposed to be in certain cirmcumstances. I think we all consider the "what would have happened if"...but its not for us to know I guess since its not the path we lived out. Sorry about your relationship with the guy friend not being the same...I have found however that all relationships change over time...some for the good, some for the bad and some both in waves...
ReplyDeleteTough question, and one I've thought about in the past. I like to think what we do and say in a particular situation (if the outcome was bad) will not make a difference, that what's meant to happen will always happen anyway, but a part of me always wonders "what if?"
ReplyDeleteWhat a good question. I believe in fate, but I don't believe in fate in all circumstances. I think we are given a situation and then that situation can turn out one of a million billion ways based on what we decide while we're in it.
ReplyDeleteI guess I believe in fate as a choose-your-own-adventure sort of thing. Which may be more of a circumstantial view of fate.
I'm rambling.
I really enjoyed reading what you have to say about it, thanks for answering. ModernMom, wow, that is quite a story! Neat.
ReplyDeleteDestiny vs. fate? Interesting. I will have to think more about this. And I think "choose your own adventure" fate makes a lot of sense. Opportunities arise, but where they end is up to us.
As I said before, I'd like to believe in fate, but I guess I'm just too pessimistic to believe that one certain thing is supposed to happen. Because if they didn't happen, something else would take its place and be just fine.
Yes, it is sad when a friendship you valued changes like this.