5 Ways To Be Awesome In China

In China, locals will tell you you're awesome in an attempt to give you "face." ("Face" is a little bit like good reputation or positive standing and it is an extremely important element in Chinese culture; causing someone to lose face is about the worst thing you can do here. Hence the government's reluctance to admit errors-- it causes them to lose face.) Here are five things I get told are awesome about me in an attempt to give me "face." Please note, these five things do not make me awesome!They are just things foreigners are often complimented on.

1. My eyes. Girls I meet here will often say, "You have really beautiful eyes." What they mean is, "You have round eyes that have an upper lid/lower lid crease fold." Eyelid tape and plastic surgery to create the Western round/double lid look is popular here. There are plastic surgery ads all over the place, but instead of advertising big boobs and lipo, they advertise eye shape and skin reconstruction. I feel bad when they compliment my eyes, because I want them to value how beautiful their own eyes are.

2. Use chopsticks. Most Chinese I've met believe foreigners can't use chopsticks. If they see you using them well, they are very impressed.  At restaurants, Chinese patrons will stare at you to see if you're going to be able to eat your dinner. At dinner with a Chinese friend and her friends, no fewer than 3 people commented on how well I use chopsticks. A student saw me at lunch with Andrew and said, "You can use chopsticks???!?"  Well, yeah; how else could I have been eating here for the past year? It's funny, because to us it's no big deal, but to them, it's a major accomplishment.

3. Speak at least one word of Chinese. Now, my Chinese is not good. It is passable, at best. But my students and people on the street will sometimes ask if I can speak Chinese, and when I say I can speak a little, they will invariable say, "Do you know how to say hello?"  Um, yeah. And then I'll say hello, and they'll say, "Oh, your Chinese is so good!" I guess it's a testament to how difficult Chinese is that the bar is set that low. They are very impressed if you can say anything at all. How nice are they?

4. Eat spicy food. This is especially true in the Sichuan area where we live, which is known for having very spicy food. But I can tolerate really spicy food, and my Chinese friends and students are always impressed that I dump on the lajiao and eat hot peppers whole. This is probably the biggest "face" skill I have. What they don't know is that I've been in training for this my whole life, thanks to my Chilean mother and her delicious, extremely spicy, food.

5. Be a foreigner in China. In reality, that's all you have to do to impress people. It's the hardest thing for me to get used to; I'm still not comfortable with our 'rock star' status here. We call ourselves pandars, because it's like we are pandas at the zoo: people watch our every move out of curiosity and admiration. ('Pandar' is a play on the local dialect, which likes to add an 'r' to everything.) I am uncomfortable with undeserved admiration and attention, so this is sometimes agonizing to me. During our training meeting in D.C., I remember saying that the hardest thing for me about living in China would be all the attention we get. I was right.