One big difference between Chinese and American culture: the expectation of friendliness. It doesn't really exist here. Because there is no expectation of an egalitarian society, there is no need to be friendly with people who can't help you or whom you're paying for a service. For example, it's noticeable to Westerners that here there is no friendly greeting or bantering between customers and employees in a restaurant. No need to make pseudo-friends with your waiter and hear, 'Hi, my name is Mike, I'll be your server tonight blah blah blah." Instead, here's what happens in an average Chinese restaurant where I live:
1. You walk to the door and someone asks how many people. They wave their hand in the general direction of an empty table and you sit down wherever you like. (If you had a lot of people they'd move tables together, that's the only reason they ask.)
2. There is one menu on an empty table. Someone comes to give you tea; this person doesn't say anything to you. Someone else comes to get your order. One person orders for the table. All food is communal. There is a small pad of paper and pen attached to the menu. You write down what you want (I can finally do this in Chinese characters, hooray!) and hand it to them, or tell them verbally by just saying the name of the food. No need for "I'll have the...." or "Can I please have the....". You just say it: "Chicken dish. Vegetable. Rice. Beer. Okay, enough."
3. There is no assigned waitress or waiter. Someone will bring your food back to you. If you want more of anything, you just flag someone down or yell really loudly, "WAITER!" No one is offended by this. You tell them what you want by just saying "more rice" or whatever. No need for "Can I please have more...?"
4. Stay as long as you want. No one will come back to check on you; once your food is delivered, you're on your own. (If you order a lot of dishes, expect as least one will be forgotten and you'll have to order it again.) When your table is finished, you yell out, 'WAITER! BILL!" and someone comes and visually counts the dishes on your table, totals it up and tells you what you owe.
5. Cash only. And you can try bargaining! Usually they say no, but you can try.
6. Walk out. No tip. No new waiter friend. But when you go back, they'll remember you and treat you well by bringing your food promptly and well-cooked.
I wonder if I'll think it's weird and unnecessary the next time I hear, "Hi, my name is Mike, and I'll be your server this evening..." And I wonder how much sticker shock I'll have by Western food prices! I cringe at the amount I spent on food before. I could eat for a month here on what I spent on some single meals. I'm never going to want to go on a dinner date again, I'll feel too guilty!
*Chilis is my junk food guilty pleasure. Boneless buffalo wings and unlimited chips and salsa FTW!
I think the friendly waiter is an American thing (except NYC). Don't see it in Montreal. I do like it when I go to the states, it's refreshing.
ReplyDeleteWe even have the chef come out to chit chat and tell us how he makes our favorite foods in some of our favorite restaurants. I can't imagine dining in China, but I'd love to see what it's like. Thanks for sharing this bit of news; I had no idea!
ReplyDeleteYeah here in Montreal friendly is a far away dream, I'd be fine in China lol
ReplyDeleteI hate paying the exhorbitant food prices here too... stops me often from going out to eat - i can't afford it!
ReplyDeleteBut then again maybe we get charged extra for the "cleanliness"? LOL
I say that tongue in cheek ;)
I kind of like the Chinese method, seems like a pretty efficient and sane way to do things. No nonsense.
I would have a hard time getting used to this as I try so hard to be friendly to everyone.
ReplyDeleteI have told you before that here in the states, I have just gotten used to asian people (most, not all) NOT being friendly. I finally accept this is how they live and are brought up.
I love learning these little facts from you!!!!
THis is a bit surprising because I would have thought that Eastern cultures are generally more polite and friendlier.
ReplyDeleteDo they have any fast food there?
Curly and Myself: maybe I should change it to American custom, not Western. I do remember being in Montreal and it wasn't the friendliest service. I thought that was because I don't speak French, I didn't realize they'd treat the locals the same way. Good to know.
ReplyDeleteScarlet: wow, how friendly!I'll have to eat in Miami sometime.
Techno: many Americans here actually really like the Chinese way of eating out: no mess, no fuss, no tip. It's a business transaction, no more, no less, no need to pretend it's more than that. So yeah, we agree. :)
BBS, Yrautca: I was surprised to at the lack of friendliness here, but I don't think they think of it as UNfriendly. They just really don't think it's necessary to be friendly to everyone you meet or do business with. Close friends or people who can help them in some way, they are friendly with. The average person? No need. It really is such a different mentality than American culture. They think we are sooo friendly, to the point of insincerity.
Ytrauca, there are KFC and McDonalds here. They say "welcome" to you, but you order the same way, just say the name of the food you want. There is a Chinese fried chicken chain and it's about the same as KFC. Same level of friendliness. There are also a few Chinese food fast food places but I've never been in those.
It sounds like a Seinfeld episode....I dont know if I could get used to that on a regular basis, but it does sound like some American restaurants I have been to before. But being from the South I am used to hospitality without any other reason than to just be nice...I guess that is why I am so flustered when I dont get it back...
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