Boundaries

We all have boundaries: emotional, physical, and social. In the past, I've let my boundaries be crossed, mostly to avoid conflict. It feels awful when your boundaries are not respected, or when you don't stand up for them.  

At grief counseling, the counselor talked a lot about boundaries. Even if others do not agree with your boundaries, it is never wrong to have them, or act on them, or expect others to respect them. And to give others the same respect. It took some real heartache and an egregious incident to see the wisdom of what he was trying to teach. 

I think a lot of women struggle with this. We are raised to be nice, unselfish, and to put others first. These are all good things. But not when it happens at the expense of your own comfort level and self-esteem. You can't help others when you feel defeated, inadequate, or in some cases, traumatized.  

Your boundaries will probably change over time, and with circumstances. This is normal. But knowing where they are at all times, and standing up for them, is really important.