The Spiderman Syndrome Formulation

(This has nothing to do with China. It's just random talking.)

So here's the deal: I have a lot of theories. Theories are comforting to me. And because if I sit too long with out moving my hands, my brain wanders far and wide. This is also why I am not a smoker, btw. It would be waaay too easy to keep my hands moving by wrapping them around a cigarette. I'd be one of those people smoking through a hole in their throat, guaranteed. But I digress...

I was talking to a friend the other day about Spiderman 2, and realized I finally had the perfect name for a dating phenomenon I hate: Spiderman Syndrome. Because you know how Peter Parker keeps letting MJ down because he has to take care of very important Spidey Saving The Day Moments first? And she doesn't know he's Spiderman, so she thinks he just doesn't care enough about her to step up to the plate anymore, but we know he's really out saving the city from the bad guys, so we cut him some slack and internally yell at MJ "It's ok he missed your play/didn't call on time/forgot your birthday, he had to get the bad guys!! Forgive him!! He loooooves you!!" Yeah, I have a working theory that deep down, some girls *cough maybe I know one of them* sometimes really want to believe that guy who won't step up to the plate anymore? He's Spiderman! He's out doing very important things instead of calling me or returning my calls or emails or whatever he used to do with much enthusiasm that he's not doing with much enthusiasm anymore. I have to be understanding that he is just.that.busy.and.important. And if I just let it go until he's done saving the city from the bad guys, all will be well.

YEAH RIGHT. Wouldn't it be nice though, if that were the reason why?

Now here's the part that annoys me: I know I am not everyone's cup of tea. Maybe my jokes are too corny. Maybe my eyes are the same color as a girl you hated in middle school. Maybe the way I whack my head on everything makes you think I am an idiot. Or whatever. So trying to pretend there's no reason you suddenly drag your feet emailing/calling/making contact/returning contact is super, duper lame. Just say what needs to be said and move on. Trust me, I'll be fine. THIS game of not telling me? Hurts A LOT. Hurts WAAAY crushing more than if you just said you weren't interested anymore. For reals, yo.

Please, don't be Spiderman.