One of the new Peace Corps volunteers in my city was hanging out this afternoon in my apartment. I have a stack of English language magazines people have sent me, including girly magazines like Glamour and Marie Claire. At home, I didn't read these magazines, but in China, you read whatever English you can get your hands on. He started glancing through them, and slowly became more and more upset at the content. As he put it: "They tell you not to be insecure, but then tell you all these ways you're not good enough. How can they tell you you're not good enough, but then tell you not to be insecure! This doesn't make any sense!" It was kind of endearing how upset he was getting. He really cared that women were getting these bad messages about their self-worth. I had thought this in the past about these magazines, but thought maybe I was being overly-sensitive. They're so popular, after all.
He also pointed out: "How come they talk about men so much in this woman's magazine? It's all about how to get men to like you. Men's magazines don't talk about how to get a woman to like you. I guess we're pretty selfish, but we don't really care about how to get a woman to like us, we just think they will." (And by 'like" he meant 'having feelings for' not 'sleep with'.) And okay, this is just one guy's opinion, but he's a cool guy and a manly man (and comes from a family of all boys) so I trust him on the "maybe we're just selfish, but we already think they'll like us" message. And actually, I think that's kind of awesome! And he's right: women's magazines are crap. As he put it, "I'm a dude, and even I can see they're sending a bad message. I don't even know how else to describe it except to say "I'm a dude", that's how much of a dude I am."
(He also said the men's quiz reporting only 67% of men measure their penis is a big, fat lie. But I kinda already knew that.)
If you read "The Beauty Myth" by Naomi Wolfe it will make the whole women's magazine thing perfectly clear.
ReplyDeleteI think your male friend is soooo right on all of this.
ReplyDeleteSo, is he implying that all men measure their member or not???? :0
I agree! I would read these in the past until I realized that they regurgitate the same crap over and over again, just with different ads and new products.
ReplyDeleteBusy Bee, I think he was implying that only 10% do. :D
ReplyDeleteIt's Just Me: hmmm. I will have to ask him what kinds of men's magazines he is reading, then. Obviously there is some diversity!
ReplyDeleteI do think seduction/conquering tips is different from making a man like you, but I can see where you guys are coming from, too. I'm glad you guys brought it up.
I personally don't care for the women's mags, I prefer straight up fashion/design mags that don't talk about relationships, but it's great we all have different tastes. I'll try to look at it from that perspective, too.
I have to admit I have thought about the same thing. Not so much for me but for the affect they will have on my now 10 and 8 year old daughters. How to catch a man. How to get him to love you in 10 easy steps, Does he really love you? Gee. Loving yourself is the first goal isn't?
ReplyDeleteMM, if I had girls, I'd be worried too. I don't see this message as harmless. As I said before, I think there's a difference between "how to get a man to have feelings for you" and "how to get a woman into bed." Two different messages. I don't think men's magazines are doing much, "How to get a woman to fall in love with you" articles.
ReplyDeleteAre you sure the 67% was the percentage of men who measured their penis in the last 24 hours?
ReplyDeleteMatt, now that is a statistic I believe!
ReplyDelete