Sex Ed is basically non-existent here in China (and some parts of the U.S.!), so Peace Corps has a program for teaching basic sexual health/HIV&AIDS prevention etc. Several volunteers in my area have given this lecture and I'm going to ask to do it at my school next year. It's gender specific and culturally appropriate for this area. In addition to the health issues, we can talk about dating and social issues that aren't usually discussed here.
During the past year, I've talked with several women about sexual pressure. It's disheartening to realize how many women have felt pressured sexually to do things they're not comfortable with, and that it is often seen as something that "happens to everyone." So here are some things I'd want my students (and all people!) to know:
1. It's okay to tell their partner if something makes them feel uncomfortable.
2. It's okay to expect their partner to listen to them and not pressure them.
3. If their partner doesn't listen, they might feel embarrassed or afraid to leave, but they can leave if the pressure doesn't stop. Giving in isn't the only option.
4. It's okay to have boundaries. And it's okay to adjust them as you feel comfortable, not necessarily when society or your partner says you should. We are not machines.
5. Someone who pressures you might also blow you off, dump you, or change how they treat you. It's okay to let them go.You can find someone who won't pressure you and will listen to your comfort level.
I wish men and women who use pressure understood what effect it can have on the self-esteem and confidence of their partner, especially if their partner is not very experienced in these things. It's basically saying, "What you're comfortable with is not good enough for me. And what I want is more important than your feelings or who you are as a person."
I really hope my school lets me do this lecture. I want my students to be healthy and happy. I want them to have confidence in themselves. I want them to know what too many people learn the hard, and sad, way.
(p.s., I am leaving tomorrow for a few weeks away on one of my summer expeditions. Take care all!)
Wow. Well put. I really hope your school lets you give this lecture. Everyone has the right to feel comfortable and not put under pressure.
ReplyDeleteHave fun traveling! Can't wait to hear all about it.
Hey Rebecca! Best of luck!!! Your ideas are great!
ReplyDeleteRock on, chick!
Have fun on your expedition! Can't wait to hear all about it!
ReplyDeleteI think the pressure thing also goes beyond just sex. Some people want to be a certain way and pressure you into it. Wrong.
ReplyDeleteHave fun on your expedition. Hope you'll still be updating every now and then. And take pics.
If they don't let you...there is seriously something wrong!! I wish I received the same advice when I became 'active'.
ReplyDeleteHope you have fun on your trip! Be Safe.
Can my teens sit in on this lecture??? I hope you are able to do this as well...it sounds like it is really needed!
ReplyDeleteHave fun..we will miss you!
Well said and so interesting that its not as relevant a topic there...Good for you! Sounds like you are on a great adventure.
ReplyDeleteYou brought up some excellent points! I'd love my daughter to be listening in a room where you give a sex ed talk. She rarely listens to what I have to say (because I'm "Mom") but I know deep down some of it has to sink in.
ReplyDeleteHave fun! Enjoy your travels, Chica!! :)
Sounds like it is really needed out there, especially with the limits they have on children. This should be taught. I hope they have the wisdom to let you. Very good points too!
ReplyDeleteHave fun on your trip. Can't wait to hear about it.