Informal Lessons in Chinese Culture

Some of the most memorable things I’ve learned about Chinese culture have come from conversations in my classroom.

For example, two weeks ago we were doing a debate activity, and the topic was whether it is better to get married or stay single. One of the students asked, “How will you register your baby if you’re not married?” As the moderator, I wanted to stop the whole discussion with a yellow flag on the play. Wait, what? If you’re single, you can’t register your baby? I had no idea.

So I later asked a trusted Chinese friend about it, and she confirmed that if a single woman has a baby, the baby can’t be registered for a hukou (residence papers) or an ID card (similar to registering for a social security number). This in turn means the baby can’t go to school or receive any medical care.

I did some research online and found this very enlightening article from the New York Times. The article mentions issues with education and medical care for these babies, tied to the lack of proper identification; without this identification paperwork, they exist outside the system. They even interview a girl who lives in my city. (Shanghai seems to be exempt from this single mother policy. Shanghai is also exempt from the one child policy.)

This is just one example of how one little statement can change your complete understanding of the culture here. If you live in China, it’s very important to keep your ears open. It also explains for me why most people here don’t live together without eventually getting married, and why unmarried moms often don’t have the baby or give it up for adoption. In the U.S., it seems we try to make these decisions a question of morality, but these decisions are perhaps made for different reasons here. I often make the mistake of trying to understand Chinese culture through my own lens.