When I was in China, I was asked to write an article for the Peace Corps China wiki about what it's like being a female volunteer in China. I guess I seemed well-adjusted? Ha, little did they know the hardships I still dealt with on a daily basis. It does get easier over time, but the challenges never fully go away. I forgot about it, but the other day I searched for it and there it is! My name isn't attached, but if you want to read what I had to say about being a female Peace Corps volunteer in China, you can read it here. It was interesting to me to read it again, after being home for these months. Gosh, it wasn't easy to live there.
___________________
My grandpa has pancreatic and liver cancer; cancer sucks. I was in denial for a while about this. I think after everything I went through with my dad, I couldn't go through this again. I think I'm still in denial about it. Dealing with cancer never gets easier. He's not doing treatment, but being treated for pain. He's very brave.
Cancer, I shake my fist at you.
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Friday, September 3, 2010
Boy Children, Advertisements, and a Funny Song Story
1. My Mandarin teacher is from Taiwan, which means I am learning some of the cultural differences of how Mandarin is spoken on the Mainland vs. Taiwan. For example, where I lived, every baby was called ‘erzi’ (boy child) regardless of gender. In fact, when I tried to use the gender neutral ‘haizi’, I was corrected to just use erzi. So yesterday in class I had to use the word ‘child’ and I said ‘erzi’ as I had been taught. My teacher said, “No, that means boy, use ‘haizi.’” I said, “That’s interesting. I was corrected to say erzi where I lived.” My teacher, knowing I lived on the Mainland: “Yeah…I don’t like that.” It was a private, friendly exchange between me and my teacher, but it was one example of the way in which language can reflect culture. (I don’t need to go into details, do I?)
2. I’ve been watching a lot of rerun tv (Seinfeld: still funny!), and hence watching a lot of advertisements, something new again to me. And I’ve realized over the past two years that if I really need something, I’ll find it. Advertisements aren’t really necessary. Somehow, every product I actually NEED occurs to me all on my own. Amazing!
3. Since a few of you said you liked the song tradition, here is another little example of it, as well as an example of the cultural conflict that sometimes happened to us.
When T., V. and others did their summer teaching project in a little city a couple of hours away, I went to visit. When I was leaving to come back home, I decided to walk to the tiny long distance bus station instead of taking a taxi because it was only a mile or two away. The teachers they were training were treating them to dinner that night, but T. skipped the beginning of dinner to walk me to the bus station, and a couple of the teachers came with us to make sure we found it okay. We got there and my bus was leaving in ten minutes, so we started saying goodbye and the teachers were APPALLED that he was going to leave before my bus left the station. They kept saying, “Stay with her! Stay with her!” And of course I’m saying,”No, go to the dinner! We’re leaving in ten minutes, it’s no big deal!” We tried to explain it was no big deal for him to leave, but oh, these ladies were not having it. We finally convinced them, but when he got to the door, he turned back around and mouthed to me,”Are we okay?? I don’t know what to do here!”” I mouthed back, “Yes! Yes! GO! It’s fine!” It was sometimes really easy for us to get caught between what was culturally expected vs. what was comfortable for us.
The funny thing was, when they came back from the teaching project, some teachers sent a little Buddhist necklace as a gift for me, which was incredibly thoughtful and generous and kind and so indicative of how the Chinese are. But I also wondered if they did it as a sort of consolation, because in their eyes I didn’t get songed properly and was instead ‘deserted’ at the bus station. So now when I wear the necklace, it’s a cute reminder of that cultural moment in the bus station.
2. I’ve been watching a lot of rerun tv (Seinfeld: still funny!), and hence watching a lot of advertisements, something new again to me. And I’ve realized over the past two years that if I really need something, I’ll find it. Advertisements aren’t really necessary. Somehow, every product I actually NEED occurs to me all on my own. Amazing!
3. Since a few of you said you liked the song tradition, here is another little example of it, as well as an example of the cultural conflict that sometimes happened to us.
When T., V. and others did their summer teaching project in a little city a couple of hours away, I went to visit. When I was leaving to come back home, I decided to walk to the tiny long distance bus station instead of taking a taxi because it was only a mile or two away. The teachers they were training were treating them to dinner that night, but T. skipped the beginning of dinner to walk me to the bus station, and a couple of the teachers came with us to make sure we found it okay. We got there and my bus was leaving in ten minutes, so we started saying goodbye and the teachers were APPALLED that he was going to leave before my bus left the station. They kept saying, “Stay with her! Stay with her!” And of course I’m saying,”No, go to the dinner! We’re leaving in ten minutes, it’s no big deal!” We tried to explain it was no big deal for him to leave, but oh, these ladies were not having it. We finally convinced them, but when he got to the door, he turned back around and mouthed to me,”Are we okay?? I don’t know what to do here!”” I mouthed back, “Yes! Yes! GO! It’s fine!” It was sometimes really easy for us to get caught between what was culturally expected vs. what was comfortable for us.
The funny thing was, when they came back from the teaching project, some teachers sent a little Buddhist necklace as a gift for me, which was incredibly thoughtful and generous and kind and so indicative of how the Chinese are. But I also wondered if they did it as a sort of consolation, because in their eyes I didn’t get songed properly and was instead ‘deserted’ at the bus station. So now when I wear the necklace, it’s a cute reminder of that cultural moment in the bus station.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Stress, Insecurity and Awkwardness: This Too Shall Pass?
It is harder to adjust to coming home than I imagined. A few things:
1. Reacclimating to American culture is stressful, because I don't always know how to act. And the cultural diversity I love so much (and missed so much) is unexpectedly stressful to deal with. R. and I have had some conversations about this and luckily I'm not just weird, it's hard for her too. It's comforting to know it's common, but still: it sucks. I'll write about some specific things when I have a chance.
2. I still dream every night I'm in China. My brain hasn't caught up with the fact I'm not going back to China. When this finally sinks in, I expect to have a little meltdown about it.
3. I'm on the road right now visiting friends out of state. I really needed this. Pardon my silence.
4. Some American friends I made in China have been very easy and natural to keep in touch with. Others have not. And without saying too much publicly, these categories are not populated exactly as I expected. I find it awkward and unsure to communicate right now with someone who was a really, really close friend in China. I didn't expect this, and it hurts.
5. I find it difficult right now to write about my experiences. Memories flood my brain constantly, but putting them down in writing eludes me right now. I need to give myself time and space to process what is happening, I suppose. So I'm trying to let myself do that.
6. One really good thing: I had a family reunion last week and it was wonderful to reunite with beloved cousins. It was also really nice to be with people who knew my dad. I love hearing my cousins (who are nearer to my dad's age than mine) talk about him. They knew him in a way I never will. And when I talk about him, they know exactly what I mean. It was comforting.
1. Reacclimating to American culture is stressful, because I don't always know how to act. And the cultural diversity I love so much (and missed so much) is unexpectedly stressful to deal with. R. and I have had some conversations about this and luckily I'm not just weird, it's hard for her too. It's comforting to know it's common, but still: it sucks. I'll write about some specific things when I have a chance.
2. I still dream every night I'm in China. My brain hasn't caught up with the fact I'm not going back to China. When this finally sinks in, I expect to have a little meltdown about it.
3. I'm on the road right now visiting friends out of state. I really needed this. Pardon my silence.
4. Some American friends I made in China have been very easy and natural to keep in touch with. Others have not. And without saying too much publicly, these categories are not populated exactly as I expected. I find it awkward and unsure to communicate right now with someone who was a really, really close friend in China. I didn't expect this, and it hurts.
5. I find it difficult right now to write about my experiences. Memories flood my brain constantly, but putting them down in writing eludes me right now. I need to give myself time and space to process what is happening, I suppose. So I'm trying to let myself do that.
6. One really good thing: I had a family reunion last week and it was wonderful to reunite with beloved cousins. It was also really nice to be with people who knew my dad. I love hearing my cousins (who are nearer to my dad's age than mine) talk about him. They knew him in a way I never will. And when I talk about him, they know exactly what I mean. It was comforting.
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Remembering Dad
March 2nd is my dad’s birthday. (I use the word ‘is’ not ‘was’ because I decided dying doesn’t cancel your birth.) When I was in the U.S., I stayed the night with my step-mom in their house. It was hard to be so reminded of him. The things I inherited from him are currently in storage. It reminded me it’s going to still be hard to go through all those things, even three years later.
My step-sister made this photo collage of my dad with pictures of him and his grandchildren. I thought it was really beautiful and want to share it with those of you who knew my dad. Those of you who didn’t know him, maybe now you will “know” him a little. (Click to enlarge)
March 11th is the anniversary of his death. It is hard not to think about all the days leading up to the day: the last meal, the last time he was coherent, the last words we said to each other. They've been on my mind a lot lately, as well as all of the repercussions of that day. I’m still trying to make sense of them. In some things I have found a measure of peace, but other things are still tough. My consolation is that I learned to be a stronger, and I hope, a more empathetic person.
My step-sister made this photo collage of my dad with pictures of him and his grandchildren. I thought it was really beautiful and want to share it with those of you who knew my dad. Those of you who didn’t know him, maybe now you will “know” him a little. (Click to enlarge)
March 11th is the anniversary of his death. It is hard not to think about all the days leading up to the day: the last meal, the last time he was coherent, the last words we said to each other. They've been on my mind a lot lately, as well as all of the repercussions of that day. I’m still trying to make sense of them. In some things I have found a measure of peace, but other things are still tough. My consolation is that I learned to be a stronger, and I hope, a more empathetic person.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
The ‘Most’ List: Hainan Edition
Most Unusual Food Eaten: ‘Drunken Shrimp,’ or, raw shrimp soaking in a bowl of Chinese rice wine. The wine gets the shrimp drunk/dead, and they are eaten raw. I ate one (1). It wasn’t too bad, but I wouldn’t eat one (1) again. We also ate this yummy stuff,
which we picked out beforehand from the live menu:
Most Ego Gratifying Moment: Andrew bowing down to my awesome genetic makeup, which allowed me to spend days on the beach without burning. (He spent... minutes before turning red.)
Most Comfortable Moment: Beach chair, blue sky, sunshine, the gentle waves of the South China Sea. Ahhhh… (Picture taken by Andrew.)
Most Life-Affirming Moment: Stepping out of the airport into the clear, fresh air of Hainan Island. After the smoggy, sunblocking cauldron of Chongqing, I could almost feel the oxygen rushing back into my brain. And the lingering skin rashes I’ve been having? Gone. Pollution sucks, yo.
Most Regretted Missed Tour Opportunity: The ‘Archaic Sacred Beast Fantasy Tour.’
Most Ditzy Moment: I left my iPod behind at the hotel. I always forget something. The hotel found it and is shipping it to me, but it won’t be here until after I leave for America. Thirty six hours of airports and airplanes with no iPod will be an old school adventure.
Most Karmic Moment: Standing in the airport security line flying home, this girl rushes up to us and insists all princess snotty-like that she has to cut in line because her plane is going to leave. We let her cut in front of us, but were annoyed at her behavior. Then we board the plane: she’s sitting right next to us! HAHA! She tried to sink into her seat, invisible, the whole way home. (Andrew was going to tell her, “So, I see you made your plane,” but because sarcasm isn't used here, she wouldn’t have gotten it.)
I got home today, and I leave in 36 hours for America. It takes about 36 hours to get home (flying time + layovers). I hate flying, especially internationally, so I am a bundle of nerves right now. I’m unpacking, cleaning and packing again as fast as I can. I will catch up with you all very soon!
which we picked out beforehand from the live menu:
Most Ego Gratifying Moment: Andrew bowing down to my awesome genetic makeup, which allowed me to spend days on the beach without burning. (He spent... minutes before turning red.)
Most Comfortable Moment: Beach chair, blue sky, sunshine, the gentle waves of the South China Sea. Ahhhh… (Picture taken by Andrew.)
Most Life-Affirming Moment: Stepping out of the airport into the clear, fresh air of Hainan Island. After the smoggy, sunblocking cauldron of Chongqing, I could almost feel the oxygen rushing back into my brain. And the lingering skin rashes I’ve been having? Gone. Pollution sucks, yo.
Most Regretted Missed Tour Opportunity: The ‘Archaic Sacred Beast Fantasy Tour.’
Most Ditzy Moment: I left my iPod behind at the hotel. I always forget something. The hotel found it and is shipping it to me, but it won’t be here until after I leave for America. Thirty six hours of airports and airplanes with no iPod will be an old school adventure.
Most Karmic Moment: Standing in the airport security line flying home, this girl rushes up to us and insists all princess snotty-like that she has to cut in line because her plane is going to leave. We let her cut in front of us, but were annoyed at her behavior. Then we board the plane: she’s sitting right next to us! HAHA! She tried to sink into her seat, invisible, the whole way home. (Andrew was going to tell her, “So, I see you made your plane,” but because sarcasm isn't used here, she wouldn’t have gotten it.)
I got home today, and I leave in 36 hours for America. It takes about 36 hours to get home (flying time + layovers). I hate flying, especially internationally, so I am a bundle of nerves right now. I’m unpacking, cleaning and packing again as fast as I can. I will catch up with you all very soon!
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Apology, Toasts, Pictures and Potties
First of all, I read back over my recent Spiderman post, and I cringed. I am so mouthy sometimes. I've been working on controlling myself when I "get my Latin up" as one of my friends puts it, but sometimes I say things without thinking. I sounded harsh, and I didn't mean to. I made a goal not to talk about my personal life here, and I feel like I kinda violated that on that post. So, apologies, I'll refrain from future discourse like this.
Toasts: it's not just what's for breakfast. During formal dinners, either family or business, it's traditional to give toasts to each other throughout the meal. I don't really enjoy this tradition, because I just wanna eat all the delicious food, you know? But it's an important part of the culture here. (During our training period, we even had a banquet to teach us this custom. It's that important.) You must give the toasts in the proper order, or it's a big faux pas; the most honored person in the room, then the next, and so on. So if you go to a Chinese dinner, you need to pay very close attention to the hierarchy of the room. The Chinese LOVE hierarchy, and if you don't respect it, you lose.
So at dinner with the family, I knew Baba (Dad) and Mama should have my first toast, as they are the oldest and therefore most important. But I couldn't remember who the oldest brother was. Argh! Then I noticed the brother sitting closest to Baba-- yes, it must be him. (It was.) I toasted him, then all the other brothers down the line, and his sister. You should always keep your glass lower than the person you are toasting, and it becomes a game. During one toast, we lowered our glasses so much they hit the chair, and they got a kick out of that. One of them said, "She is Chinese now!" I took it as a compliment.
A few more pictures.
Here I am on New Year's Day with my director's little sister, her husband and her daughter. (After being up all night NYE, literally, plus a four hour car ride, I look a little busted! But I know you all love me for my personality.) I was laughing when they took the picture. This was her 40th birthday party; how amazing does she look?
Below is me, my director's son, and my director's niece. She is darling! I'm going back to this city in two weeks for Peace Corps training, and we made plans to get together while I am there. I'm excited to see her again, as well as the sister and family above.
Related: I thought I was a picture ham, until I moved to China. THEY WIN. Also, the finger shape I am making means "8" and is a good luck sign in China. Yes, all numbers have an associated hand gesture. The more you know...
And finally...a picture in a hotel room bathroom stall. Western toilets are still rare in my part of China, and are usually only found in Western restaurant and hotel chains. (And luckily, my apartment.) So, sometimes some instructions are needed:
The end. Thanks for reading! I hope you found it worthwhile. And yes, I will keep writing while I am on my vacations and at home. You are stuck with my nonsense a while longer!
Toasts: it's not just what's for breakfast. During formal dinners, either family or business, it's traditional to give toasts to each other throughout the meal. I don't really enjoy this tradition, because I just wanna eat all the delicious food, you know? But it's an important part of the culture here. (During our training period, we even had a banquet to teach us this custom. It's that important.) You must give the toasts in the proper order, or it's a big faux pas; the most honored person in the room, then the next, and so on. So if you go to a Chinese dinner, you need to pay very close attention to the hierarchy of the room. The Chinese LOVE hierarchy, and if you don't respect it, you lose.
So at dinner with the family, I knew Baba (Dad) and Mama should have my first toast, as they are the oldest and therefore most important. But I couldn't remember who the oldest brother was. Argh! Then I noticed the brother sitting closest to Baba-- yes, it must be him. (It was.) I toasted him, then all the other brothers down the line, and his sister. You should always keep your glass lower than the person you are toasting, and it becomes a game. During one toast, we lowered our glasses so much they hit the chair, and they got a kick out of that. One of them said, "She is Chinese now!" I took it as a compliment.
A few more pictures.
Here I am on New Year's Day with my director's little sister, her husband and her daughter. (After being up all night NYE, literally, plus a four hour car ride, I look a little busted! But I know you all love me for my personality.) I was laughing when they took the picture. This was her 40th birthday party; how amazing does she look?
Below is me, my director's son, and my director's niece. She is darling! I'm going back to this city in two weeks for Peace Corps training, and we made plans to get together while I am there. I'm excited to see her again, as well as the sister and family above.
Related: I thought I was a picture ham, until I moved to China. THEY WIN. Also, the finger shape I am making means "8" and is a good luck sign in China. Yes, all numbers have an associated hand gesture. The more you know...
And finally...a picture in a hotel room bathroom stall. Western toilets are still rare in my part of China, and are usually only found in Western restaurant and hotel chains. (And luckily, my apartment.) So, sometimes some instructions are needed:
The end. Thanks for reading! I hope you found it worthwhile. And yes, I will keep writing while I am on my vacations and at home. You are stuck with my nonsense a while longer!
Monday, January 4, 2010
New Year Adventures of Panda Girl
My new favorite hat:
You might think this looks silly, but animal hats are all the fashion here. I'm so wearing it when I go to the U.S. in February to see my grandma; she is going to crack up when she sees it, and I can't wait. It's a great hat, btw, it feels like you're wearing a blanket on your head. I've started wearing it to bed to keep warm.
New Year's Eve turned out to be much more fun than I anticipated. My friend T. organized a trip up a mountain to ring in the new year, but as I told him, not only do I not climb mountains in the dark in the dead of winter, I don't even pretend I want to. So instead I went to my friend V.'s house. V. is awesome, because A: he is from the South, so we speak the same social language, and B: he loves brie and baguettes, tomato salad and nutella as much as I do. We ate these yummy things for dinner, then went downtown to meet up with a few friends. We watched fireworks and rang in the New Year at midnight in a beer garden with other revelers, then went into a club and danced the night away. Our mountain friends came down off the mountain to join us, so it was a big all-night lovefest. What a great way to ring in the new year! Here's a picture of me trying to eat J.'s nutella. As you can see by his face, he did not think this was as funny as I did.
My New Year's Day weekend trip was so interesting! And so Chinese. I'll tell more about in the coming days, but it ended up being just me, the director of the Foreign Affairs Office, and his whole extended family. I was honored he asked me to spend the weekend with his family. They were wonderfully hospitable to me, and made me feel very welcome. I was on pins and needles the whole weekend, making sure I didn't do something to offend anyone. (There is a strict pecking order in Chinese families. I'll talk more about this later, too.) My director's nieces were very cute, and took a liking to me. They always wanted to sit next to me and hold my hand. Here's a picture of us in the backseat of the car:
And here's a picture of part of the group in a city called DuJiangYan, a World Heritage Site located near Chengdu, Sichuan province. At this place, they started using dams and irrigation 2,600 years ago, and the same system is still used today. Pretty neat:
I'll post some more pictures tomorrow, and give more details about my trip. Hope you all had a great New Year!
You might think this looks silly, but animal hats are all the fashion here. I'm so wearing it when I go to the U.S. in February to see my grandma; she is going to crack up when she sees it, and I can't wait. It's a great hat, btw, it feels like you're wearing a blanket on your head. I've started wearing it to bed to keep warm.
New Year's Eve turned out to be much more fun than I anticipated. My friend T. organized a trip up a mountain to ring in the new year, but as I told him, not only do I not climb mountains in the dark in the dead of winter, I don't even pretend I want to. So instead I went to my friend V.'s house. V. is awesome, because A: he is from the South, so we speak the same social language, and B: he loves brie and baguettes, tomato salad and nutella as much as I do. We ate these yummy things for dinner, then went downtown to meet up with a few friends. We watched fireworks and rang in the New Year at midnight in a beer garden with other revelers, then went into a club and danced the night away. Our mountain friends came down off the mountain to join us, so it was a big all-night lovefest. What a great way to ring in the new year! Here's a picture of me trying to eat J.'s nutella. As you can see by his face, he did not think this was as funny as I did.
My New Year's Day weekend trip was so interesting! And so Chinese. I'll tell more about in the coming days, but it ended up being just me, the director of the Foreign Affairs Office, and his whole extended family. I was honored he asked me to spend the weekend with his family. They were wonderfully hospitable to me, and made me feel very welcome. I was on pins and needles the whole weekend, making sure I didn't do something to offend anyone. (There is a strict pecking order in Chinese families. I'll talk more about this later, too.) My director's nieces were very cute, and took a liking to me. They always wanted to sit next to me and hold my hand. Here's a picture of us in the backseat of the car:
And here's a picture of part of the group in a city called DuJiangYan, a World Heritage Site located near Chengdu, Sichuan province. At this place, they started using dams and irrigation 2,600 years ago, and the same system is still used today. Pretty neat:
I'll post some more pictures tomorrow, and give more details about my trip. Hope you all had a great New Year!
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
A Few Random Pictures
The English says 'dogmeat', but the Chinese says 'ground meat.' Not sure if it's a euphemism or a mistranslation. (And I think we'd say 'black eyed peas' but that is perhaps a regional English thing.) In any case, I didn't buy it.
Random Transformers character outside a club chain called '88.' (8 is a lucky number in Chinese culture.) There was a sign next to him but all I could make out is that he was some kind of party monster from another planet who was coming here to throw the best party of all time. Might be a New Year's Eve thing. There were still too many characters I didn't know. (I hate that, but good study motivation!)
Chinese grandparents are the nation's babysitters. All day long, it is common to see babies and grandparents, shooting the breeze, feeding some pigeons, etc. This picture is a little bit blurry, I know, but check out those mouse ears and stocky legs. Chinese babies are delicious little butterballs in the winter, due to the layers and layers of clothing they wear.
Random Transformers character outside a club chain called '88.' (8 is a lucky number in Chinese culture.) There was a sign next to him but all I could make out is that he was some kind of party monster from another planet who was coming here to throw the best party of all time. Might be a New Year's Eve thing. There were still too many characters I didn't know. (I hate that, but good study motivation!)
Chinese grandparents are the nation's babysitters. All day long, it is common to see babies and grandparents, shooting the breeze, feeding some pigeons, etc. This picture is a little bit blurry, I know, but check out those mouse ears and stocky legs. Chinese babies are delicious little butterballs in the winter, due to the layers and layers of clothing they wear.
This line of people stretched all the way around the square. I was shocked there was an orderly line. I walked to the end to see what they were waiting for: discounted light bulbs. I know I have not experienced the kind of hardship in life that makes standing in an hour long line for a discounted light bulb worth it.
Monday, December 21, 2009
Bye Bye Bali, Plus Daily Life
My grandma is not doing well. So, I am no longer going to Bali and Beijing over my break; instead, I'll be flying back to the U.S. to spend time with her and other family. I was looking forward to these trips, but Bali and Beijing will be there for a long while. Grandma comes first. I am sure those of you reading can understand and would do the same thing.
Now, a few things to share about daily life in China:
1. Street cleaning trucks in my city play "Happy Birthday" in a high-pitched tone, over and over and over. There is also a techno version of Happy Birthday they play in clubs. How "Happy Birthday" became both of these things, I have no idea, but I never want to hear "Happy Birthday" again.
2. Overheard yesterday as I was walking home: a clothing store blasting "Jingle Bells" set to a disco-esque beat, including the phrases "Jingle all the way, oh what fun it is to ride in a one horse open sleee." Sleigh IS spelled like Leigh, I have to give them that. "One horse open sleee" set to disco is more funny than I could have imagined. I smiled all the way home.
3. I bought colored contact lenses this week. I didn't know contacts sold in Asia are made to make the iris look larger than it is. They look a little weird to me, but it's interesting to see the world in 3D all day long. I had forgotten what this is like! (I have glasses but don't like wearing them, so I've been living in a 2D world.) Here's what Asian colored contact lenses look like:
4. This was the cover of a weekly newspaper this week. American culture is so popular here, and yet America knows so little about Chinese popular culture. My students ask me all the time if I watch shows like Vampire Diaries, Cougartown, Californication etc. And I'm thinking, you guys know more about American tv than I do! (I haven't seen any of those shows.) I bought this to put on my wall. A little bit of handsome Americana is never a bad thing.
4. The subject of this article has been big news here. Before living here, I didn't recognize the various ways living in a diverse culture has affected how I disseminate and process information. I'll be writing more about this after the holiday.
I know the next few days will be busy for everyone, so let me take this chance to say Merry Christmas to everyone celebrating it! Hope you have a wonderful day with your families.
Now, a few things to share about daily life in China:
1. Street cleaning trucks in my city play "Happy Birthday" in a high-pitched tone, over and over and over. There is also a techno version of Happy Birthday they play in clubs. How "Happy Birthday" became both of these things, I have no idea, but I never want to hear "Happy Birthday" again.
2. Overheard yesterday as I was walking home: a clothing store blasting "Jingle Bells" set to a disco-esque beat, including the phrases "Jingle all the way, oh what fun it is to ride in a one horse open sleee." Sleigh IS spelled like Leigh, I have to give them that. "One horse open sleee" set to disco is more funny than I could have imagined. I smiled all the way home.
3. I bought colored contact lenses this week. I didn't know contacts sold in Asia are made to make the iris look larger than it is. They look a little weird to me, but it's interesting to see the world in 3D all day long. I had forgotten what this is like! (I have glasses but don't like wearing them, so I've been living in a 2D world.) Here's what Asian colored contact lenses look like:
4. This was the cover of a weekly newspaper this week. American culture is so popular here, and yet America knows so little about Chinese popular culture. My students ask me all the time if I watch shows like Vampire Diaries, Cougartown, Californication etc. And I'm thinking, you guys know more about American tv than I do! (I haven't seen any of those shows.) I bought this to put on my wall. A little bit of handsome Americana is never a bad thing.
4. The subject of this article has been big news here. Before living here, I didn't recognize the various ways living in a diverse culture has affected how I disseminate and process information. I'll be writing more about this after the holiday.
I know the next few days will be busy for everyone, so let me take this chance to say Merry Christmas to everyone celebrating it! Hope you have a wonderful day with your families.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
The Sunshine Of My Life, And Of My Apartment
(Click pics to enlarge)
I've mentioned before, due to the number of factories in the area, there is very little natural sunlight in Chongqing. I can count on two hands the sunny days in a year. So I made my own sunshine out of paper for my living room wall. Lack of sunshine is a tough thing about living in this city, but the locals say it makes Chongqing girls the most beautiful of all Chinese girls because their skin stays very white. However, I'm pretty sure I'm going to have to detox my skin of pollutants when I leave this place.
Here are the other rays of sunshine in my life: all the thoughtful, funny and wonderful cards people send to me. I put every single one of them up on my wall to remind me I am not alone over here. Some of you reading this are on my wall; I was serious about how much it meant to me that you took the time and energy to send me packages and cards. Thank you. I thought you might also like to see where I sit everyday to talk to you and write these posts. My desk is home base in my apartment. I'm messy, I know.
Btw, that blue lamp is a sunlight simulator lamp. The Peace Corps gives them to volunteers in my city.
I've mentioned before, due to the number of factories in the area, there is very little natural sunlight in Chongqing. I can count on two hands the sunny days in a year. So I made my own sunshine out of paper for my living room wall. Lack of sunshine is a tough thing about living in this city, but the locals say it makes Chongqing girls the most beautiful of all Chinese girls because their skin stays very white. However, I'm pretty sure I'm going to have to detox my skin of pollutants when I leave this place.
Here are the other rays of sunshine in my life: all the thoughtful, funny and wonderful cards people send to me. I put every single one of them up on my wall to remind me I am not alone over here. Some of you reading this are on my wall; I was serious about how much it meant to me that you took the time and energy to send me packages and cards. Thank you. I thought you might also like to see where I sit everyday to talk to you and write these posts. My desk is home base in my apartment. I'm messy, I know.
Btw, that blue lamp is a sunlight simulator lamp. The Peace Corps gives them to volunteers in my city.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Intestinal Parasites Think They Are My Friends
Turns out my tummyache was merely the incubation period for giardia, an intestinal parasite you get from dirty water or poorly cooked food. I'll spare you the details, you can read about it here if you want, but all I have to say is thank goodness for medicine. I took a large dose this morning, and the Peace Corps doctor said I should start feeling better in three to four days, but it takes several weeks to fully recover. (And giardia sometimes relapses; the gift that keeps on giving!) When we go to our sites, we are given a bag of prescription medications to keep in our apartments. This way, we don't have to have it sent to us, we can just take it under the direction of our doctor as soon as we need it. The Peace Corps takes good care of us.
I have to admit, I was pretty ticked when my symptoms got worse and I realized this wasn't just a passing tummyache. At this time of year, I really miss my dad; holidays are the hardest time to be without him. And I am so far away from home, in a country where Christmas isn't celebrated like I'm used to. It's just another day here. And I got a little peevish, like, "Why am I voluntarily submitting myself to this misery? I could be home, with my family, without parasites! Is that so wrong?" But I do remember why I'm here, and how much I love my students, and I know this misery is just a short time compared to positive benefit of these experiences. Someday I'll look back on my giardia Christmas and laugh.
That said, intestinal parasites suck. Parasites, I'm sorry, but this relationship needs to be over now!
I have to admit, I was pretty ticked when my symptoms got worse and I realized this wasn't just a passing tummyache. At this time of year, I really miss my dad; holidays are the hardest time to be without him. And I am so far away from home, in a country where Christmas isn't celebrated like I'm used to. It's just another day here. And I got a little peevish, like, "Why am I voluntarily submitting myself to this misery? I could be home, with my family, without parasites! Is that so wrong?" But I do remember why I'm here, and how much I love my students, and I know this misery is just a short time compared to positive benefit of these experiences. Someday I'll look back on my giardia Christmas and laugh.
That said, intestinal parasites suck. Parasites, I'm sorry, but this relationship needs to be over now!
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Bus Adventures With Chinese Grandma: Don't Forget Your Stockings!
Last night I was taking the bus to a friend's campus and sat down next to a grandma. Now, in the words of my friend Patrick, "Chinese grandmas are the sh*t." It's true: they can do anything and exude a quiet confidence I aspire to. (Also, they can totally snake all the good veggies at the market before anyone realizes what's happening.) They rule with a silk fist. You don't mess with a Chinese grandma.
And to a Chinese grandma, all the world's a grandchild, especially a lone foreign girl. I sat down next to grandma in my short skirt and knee-high boots, sans stockings, and she immediately began chastising me for being bare-legged. I explained I don't have stockings, and she started running her hands up and down the bare-showing parts of my thighs, trying to warm me up. After a year and a half here, this didn't faze me (haha, I first wrote "phase" me), but I still had to laugh at the image of a Chinese grandma feeling up a random foreign girl on the bus, all the while chuttering in rapid Chinese about my lack of stockings. (I know chuttering isn't a real word, but I mean something like 'muttering and chattering'. Is there a word that combines those two things? There should be.)
This week I also had a grandma slip ahead of me in the grocery store line as I was paying in order to inspect everything I bought and help me bag it up in my reusable bags. (My friend: "What's she doing?" Me: "Being a grandma, I guess.") Another grandma held a spot for me in the train station bathroom because she was under the impression a foreigner would never get a bathroom stall if she didn't guard one for her; she actually shooed people away! It was very sweet, and I was really touched by her kindness. She was so thrilled I could speak Chinese with her, I think she was ready take me all the way to Chengdu.
I treasure these little moments. I'm glad I live alone a regular Chinese neighborhood, not a foreigner enclave with a car and driver/translator, as many expats here do. Although it's tempting at times to segregate myself from a sometimes difficult cultural experience, I know I'd be missing out on a lot. This is one of the great things about Peace Corps service.
And to a Chinese grandma, all the world's a grandchild, especially a lone foreign girl. I sat down next to grandma in my short skirt and knee-high boots, sans stockings, and she immediately began chastising me for being bare-legged. I explained I don't have stockings, and she started running her hands up and down the bare-showing parts of my thighs, trying to warm me up. After a year and a half here, this didn't faze me (haha, I first wrote "phase" me), but I still had to laugh at the image of a Chinese grandma feeling up a random foreign girl on the bus, all the while chuttering in rapid Chinese about my lack of stockings. (I know chuttering isn't a real word, but I mean something like 'muttering and chattering'. Is there a word that combines those two things? There should be.)
This week I also had a grandma slip ahead of me in the grocery store line as I was paying in order to inspect everything I bought and help me bag it up in my reusable bags. (My friend: "What's she doing?" Me: "Being a grandma, I guess.") Another grandma held a spot for me in the train station bathroom because she was under the impression a foreigner would never get a bathroom stall if she didn't guard one for her; she actually shooed people away! It was very sweet, and I was really touched by her kindness. She was so thrilled I could speak Chinese with her, I think she was ready take me all the way to Chengdu.
I treasure these little moments. I'm glad I live alone a regular Chinese neighborhood, not a foreigner enclave with a car and driver/translator, as many expats here do. Although it's tempting at times to segregate myself from a sometimes difficult cultural experience, I know I'd be missing out on a lot. This is one of the great things about Peace Corps service.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Chinglish Notebooks, Plus Time and Happiness
I love the notebooks in China. I don't know why, but almost all of them have some kind of Chinglish phrase on the cover. Here are a few I saw in a school supply shop near my campus:
I love the 'My baby grows up in this way' tagline:
I love the 'My baby grows up in this way' tagline:
For when you need to announce your life strategy: 'I never really try to be positive.'
Nothing says 'Season's Greeting' like a stack of folded towels. Btw, a candle that close to the towels is a fire hazard.
'Goes the sound which the balcony listens to spend.' HUH?
No really, I love these. But this one is still my all time favorite:
In other news, I have to go out of town to this weekend for a medical test. I have two spots on my back that keep scabbing over and won't heal, so I have to get them checked out. Sunshine, I love you so much, why do you hurt me like this?
And in still further news, I only have 9 months left in China. 9 months! Where has the time gone? I feel like I have survived a lot the past few years: my dad's cancer and death, the guy who crushed me, and just the experience of living here in China. I almost feel like because I survived these things so close together, and can still smile, I can survive anything. (I don't want to test that theory, though!) I hope the next few years bring more joy than sorrow. Pretty please, with sugar on top?
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Awkward Family Photos
Something I Love: www.awkwardfamilyphotos.com. If you haven't seen this site, you should go there as fast as your little fingers will type you there. (Bonus China points for scrolling through the site in your underwear, licking frosting off a knife, like I did last night.) This one is hands down my favorite one. That disembodied pacifier head! Runner up favorite: The Nativity.
And a special thanks to my mom and dad, who never subjected us to this kind of thing. We owe you one!
And a special thanks to my mom and dad, who never subjected us to this kind of thing. We owe you one!
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Family
The other day I was really wishing I could talk to my dad about something that happened here, because I thought he'd be interested in it. And a few days later, I had a dream I went to his office but he wasn't there; I left a note. I kinda like thinking that my dad knows when I want to talk to him. Maybe he gets the 'notes.' And since we both loved The Daily Show and Colbert Report, I still sometimes want to send him clips of funny moments like we used to do. I wonder if he misses that too.
I don't get homesick too often here, but sometimes I do feel like I'm missing out on things back home. My awesome step-mom and step-siblings, who have been so supportive and are good friends. Their kids are getting older, wiser and more fun, and I wonder if the little ones will remember me when I get back. I miss my grandma, who has health problems. Every time I call her, she says, "I'm going to try to live until you come home again." I always tell her, "Grandma, you'll live a long time yet!" But I'm ready to get on the next plane every time she says it. I miss my awesome cousins and their cute kids.
And my brother and sister, who are the funniest people I know. I just know they are having all kinds of fun without me! And my mom, who after getting past her initial concern with my decision, has been incredibly supportive and really made it possible for me to be here with very few worries about my furniture, car, student loan, etc.
My family, it is not your everyday nuclear family (whose is anymore?) but it is an awesome family, all of them. I love them.
I don't get homesick too often here, but sometimes I do feel like I'm missing out on things back home. My awesome step-mom and step-siblings, who have been so supportive and are good friends. Their kids are getting older, wiser and more fun, and I wonder if the little ones will remember me when I get back. I miss my grandma, who has health problems. Every time I call her, she says, "I'm going to try to live until you come home again." I always tell her, "Grandma, you'll live a long time yet!" But I'm ready to get on the next plane every time she says it. I miss my awesome cousins and their cute kids.
And my brother and sister, who are the funniest people I know. I just know they are having all kinds of fun without me! And my mom, who after getting past her initial concern with my decision, has been incredibly supportive and really made it possible for me to be here with very few worries about my furniture, car, student loan, etc.
My family, it is not your everyday nuclear family (whose is anymore?) but it is an awesome family, all of them. I love them.
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Chinese Stew
1. There are no solely left-handed Chinese. All kids have to be right-handed. Some kids who start out left-handed surreptitiously maintain the skill and are ambidextrous, but no one is just left-handed.
2. My Chinese to English dictionary (no English to Chinese) is 2,139 pages long. If I want to look up a character and I don't know the pinyin (alphabetized spelling), I first use a paper radical index to find the pinyin, then look up the word alphabetically in the dictionary. There are often pages and pages of characters that share the same pinyin. It gets easier with practice, it takes me less than a minute now to find a new character.
3. The standard greeting here is "Have you eaten yet?" This is because for so long there has not been enough food. Being able to eat is a big deal.
4. Most advertisements for Chinese products have elderly people in them because in Chinese culture the elderly are respected and admired for their wisdom. The exceptions: some Western products like Pepsi, which feature young celebrities.
5. In China, the leading cause of death for women is suicide, and more women commit suicide here than men. Very sad. I'm racking my brain thinking of something I can do to help while I'm here.
6. The word for maternal grandmother is 'foreign old woman.' According to my tutor, this is because women are traditionally outsiders in Chinese families; she comes from another family. But this is changing in urban areas in China, where girls are losing the "outsider" stigma. I wonder if this name will change.
7. The slang word for girls who lose their heads over a cute boy is 'foolish flower.' Asking someone "What thing are you?" is a huge insult.
8. My new cell phone has Chinese and English loaded, which means I can type in Chinese characters. This is really helpful for writing myself notes of character hotel names, city names etc. Also, texting in Chinese is a good deal, because you only get 160 letters/spaces in English, but 70 characters in Chinese (the equivalent of 300-400 letters/spaces).
9. I've been practicing Chinese character drawing this summer. There is a beautiful yin/yang aspect to the strokes, which must be memorized and drawn in the correct order and direction. I'm taking a calligraphy class in the Fall on my campus to learn to write characters with the large art brushes used in Chinese art. I'm really looking forward to it.
10. One more picture: our fans crowded into the window of a beauty salon to watch us go by. (Click to enlarge.)
I'm leaving again in the morning for a week or so. Take care, all!
2. My Chinese to English dictionary (no English to Chinese) is 2,139 pages long. If I want to look up a character and I don't know the pinyin (alphabetized spelling), I first use a paper radical index to find the pinyin, then look up the word alphabetically in the dictionary. There are often pages and pages of characters that share the same pinyin. It gets easier with practice, it takes me less than a minute now to find a new character.
3. The standard greeting here is "Have you eaten yet?" This is because for so long there has not been enough food. Being able to eat is a big deal.
4. Most advertisements for Chinese products have elderly people in them because in Chinese culture the elderly are respected and admired for their wisdom. The exceptions: some Western products like Pepsi, which feature young celebrities.
5. In China, the leading cause of death for women is suicide, and more women commit suicide here than men. Very sad. I'm racking my brain thinking of something I can do to help while I'm here.
6. The word for maternal grandmother is 'foreign old woman.' According to my tutor, this is because women are traditionally outsiders in Chinese families; she comes from another family. But this is changing in urban areas in China, where girls are losing the "outsider" stigma. I wonder if this name will change.
7. The slang word for girls who lose their heads over a cute boy is 'foolish flower.' Asking someone "What thing are you?" is a huge insult.
8. My new cell phone has Chinese and English loaded, which means I can type in Chinese characters. This is really helpful for writing myself notes of character hotel names, city names etc. Also, texting in Chinese is a good deal, because you only get 160 letters/spaces in English, but 70 characters in Chinese (the equivalent of 300-400 letters/spaces).
9. I've been practicing Chinese character drawing this summer. There is a beautiful yin/yang aspect to the strokes, which must be memorized and drawn in the correct order and direction. I'm taking a calligraphy class in the Fall on my campus to learn to write characters with the large art brushes used in Chinese art. I'm really looking forward to it.
10. One more picture: our fans crowded into the window of a beauty salon to watch us go by. (Click to enlarge.)
I'm leaving again in the morning for a week or so. Take care, all!
Monday, July 27, 2009
Pics, Reproduction and DDT
I'm back home for a week. I'll be leaving this Sunday for a trip to another province with friends for a week or so. A few things I want to share:
1. I went to get my new cell phone the day I returned. The sales lady was very nice and we had the usual spiel you have here: I'm American, I'm a teacher, I've been here a year, I go home next year, etc. etc. But then she asked me if I had any kids. I told her no, and she asked if I would have kids when I returned to America. It struck me I don't really know how to talk about my reproductive decisions in Chinese. I didn't expect to be asked. But then I thought about it, and it makes sense it's totally acceptable to ask a stranger when they're having kids. The fact someone might not want kids isn't part of the local culture, so there's no reason not to ask. Anyway, it was one of those moments that really illuminates the differences between Chinese and Western culture and concepts of privacy.
2. I was worried I'd come home to a giant spider nest in my apartment, but instead I found a giant dead spider on the floor next to the wall where I'd found the last one. Near as I can figure out, the leftover residue from my previous Chinese Raid attack killed the new spider. Yikes, maybe I shouldn't be breathing this stuff. I'm pretty sure it has DDT or something in it, it kills bugs in about 20 seconds. And evidently works for weeks on end. If I DO ever have kids, mine will be the ones with the tails and gills.
3. Two pics: the solar eclipse, and some playground equipment I came across. I guess this is what playground equipment looks like when there is no chance of suing someone if you get hurt. I'll post some more pictures of random things tomorrow.
1. I went to get my new cell phone the day I returned. The sales lady was very nice and we had the usual spiel you have here: I'm American, I'm a teacher, I've been here a year, I go home next year, etc. etc. But then she asked me if I had any kids. I told her no, and she asked if I would have kids when I returned to America. It struck me I don't really know how to talk about my reproductive decisions in Chinese. I didn't expect to be asked. But then I thought about it, and it makes sense it's totally acceptable to ask a stranger when they're having kids. The fact someone might not want kids isn't part of the local culture, so there's no reason not to ask. Anyway, it was one of those moments that really illuminates the differences between Chinese and Western culture and concepts of privacy.
2. I was worried I'd come home to a giant spider nest in my apartment, but instead I found a giant dead spider on the floor next to the wall where I'd found the last one. Near as I can figure out, the leftover residue from my previous Chinese Raid attack killed the new spider. Yikes, maybe I shouldn't be breathing this stuff. I'm pretty sure it has DDT or something in it, it kills bugs in about 20 seconds. And evidently works for weeks on end. If I DO ever have kids, mine will be the ones with the tails and gills.
3. Two pics: the solar eclipse, and some playground equipment I came across. I guess this is what playground equipment looks like when there is no chance of suing someone if you get hurt. I'll post some more pictures of random things tomorrow.
Monday, June 15, 2009
The Gifts Of Time, Peace and Confidence
The short story is, I joined the Peace Corps because my dad died. I needed something to do. I thought helping others was a good way to find myself again. And, quite honestly, because I had no idea what else to do. I applied two months after my dad died, and later found out the Peace Corps will officially not consider you if you've experienced a close death within the past year. I guess they really needed to fill this position, though, because here I am.
Because of grief, my self-esteem was very low. In some cases, I turned to the wrong things for comfort. I've had to deal with some tough dependencies. I made mistakes. Not legal or moral mistakes, but mistakes toward myself. One thing I did was offend my own self-worth by letting someone treat me badly. I realize now that whatever made it okay in his mind for him to treat me this way has nothing to do with me. If my self-esteem had been normal, things would have been different, but I was doing the best I could at the time. And in a way, I have him to thank for the wake-up call for how poorly I was treating myself. I might not have worked to recover my self-esteem if it weren't for him. I think time is also healing these grief wounds. I'm grateful for time.
Was it a mistake to join the Peace Corps when I did? Time will answer that question. But caring for these kids has helped me see I still have a lot to give. I love being a teacher. I have a renewed sense of confidence in myself because I've survived these difficult circumstances. Yes, my dad died. It still hurts terribly at times. I still cry sometimes. I'll miss him all my life. But life is not over. This Peace Corps experience has given me some peace and confidence back. I thank China.
Because of grief, my self-esteem was very low. In some cases, I turned to the wrong things for comfort. I've had to deal with some tough dependencies. I made mistakes. Not legal or moral mistakes, but mistakes toward myself. One thing I did was offend my own self-worth by letting someone treat me badly. I realize now that whatever made it okay in his mind for him to treat me this way has nothing to do with me. If my self-esteem had been normal, things would have been different, but I was doing the best I could at the time. And in a way, I have him to thank for the wake-up call for how poorly I was treating myself. I might not have worked to recover my self-esteem if it weren't for him. I think time is also healing these grief wounds. I'm grateful for time.
Was it a mistake to join the Peace Corps when I did? Time will answer that question. But caring for these kids has helped me see I still have a lot to give. I love being a teacher. I have a renewed sense of confidence in myself because I've survived these difficult circumstances. Yes, my dad died. It still hurts terribly at times. I still cry sometimes. I'll miss him all my life. But life is not over. This Peace Corps experience has given me some peace and confidence back. I thank China.
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Sleepy Girls On The Subway
I love how the mom is holding her daughter's head up. I wonder if that was comfortable? Before I took this picture, her brother (on the left) kept trying to pat her face. She pitched a fit and his mom yelled at him to leave her alone. It's funny how kids are the same all over the world.
I also love this pic because it reminds of me when I'd fall asleep next to my dad on the D.C. Metro and he'd carry me home. Sometimes I was just pretending to be asleep so I didn't have to walk. I think he knew.
Saturday, June 6, 2009
The One Child Policy
The one child policy is more complex than I realized. A brief summary: when couples get married, they are issued a marriage license and a birth license. (There are people exempt from this law who can have multiple children, such as farmers and minorities.) If you have a second (or subsequent) child, you have to pay a fine. Back in 1979 when the policy went into effect, no one had extra money to pay this fine. But now with the wealth coming into China, it's not a big deal for many urban families to pay the fine. And a few years ago, forced abortions ended by law; whether or not this is enforced, I don't know. In any case, it seems it is quite possible to get around the one child policy. For example:
1. One of our training language teachers has three children in her family; she's the oldest, and has a younger brother and sister. Her mother had an exception to the policy because she was from a farming family, and they paid the fine for the youngest child and gave her a different last name. The two oldest kids have the father's last name, and the youngest has the mother's.
2. The boyfriend of one of our volunteer's has an older sister. When his mother was pregnant with him, she was eating dinner in a restaurant when the family planning enforcers tracked her down and came to the restaurant to force her to have an abortion. She literally escaped out the back door of the restaurant and went into hiding. After he was born, they paid the fine.
3. A few of my students casually reference having a brother or sister. I haven't asked them about it, but I'd like to. There are a lot of questions I have. For instance, can these children be born in the hospital, or do they have to be born at home? It does seem that once you have the second (or third) child, you pay the fine and it's over. No need to hide the child or pretend you didn't have it. And in some cities, it's even become a status symbol to have multiple children, because it means you can not only afford to pay the fines, but pay the school fees for multiple children.
I didn't know about the exemptions or fines before living here. Everything about China seems to be more complex than I realized.
1. One of our training language teachers has three children in her family; she's the oldest, and has a younger brother and sister. Her mother had an exception to the policy because she was from a farming family, and they paid the fine for the youngest child and gave her a different last name. The two oldest kids have the father's last name, and the youngest has the mother's.
2. The boyfriend of one of our volunteer's has an older sister. When his mother was pregnant with him, she was eating dinner in a restaurant when the family planning enforcers tracked her down and came to the restaurant to force her to have an abortion. She literally escaped out the back door of the restaurant and went into hiding. After he was born, they paid the fine.
3. A few of my students casually reference having a brother or sister. I haven't asked them about it, but I'd like to. There are a lot of questions I have. For instance, can these children be born in the hospital, or do they have to be born at home? It does seem that once you have the second (or third) child, you pay the fine and it's over. No need to hide the child or pretend you didn't have it. And in some cities, it's even become a status symbol to have multiple children, because it means you can not only afford to pay the fines, but pay the school fees for multiple children.
I didn't know about the exemptions or fines before living here. Everything about China seems to be more complex than I realized.
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