Friend With Boyfriend Characteristics, and Other New Americanisms

In China, it is popular to explain the nature of a thing by saying that something is ‘[thing] with Chinese characteristics.’ ‘Capitalism with Chinese characteristics’ is a famous example used to describe the Chinese economic system. So being the good volunteers we are, we have appropriated this construct for our own purposes. For example:

-“He’s my friend with boyfriend characteristics.” (Note: I love this one. So succinct.)

-I keep my extra bedding in a box; it’s my “linen closet with Chinese characteristics.”

-Because Chinese bathrooms usually don’t have soap and people just use water to rinse their hands, soap or antibacterial hand gel is “water with Chinese characteristics.”

Really bad attempts to replicate Western food or overly processed foods are “plastic with food characteristics.”

And so on.

Sometimes we even feel like we are now American, with Chinese characteristics. For example:

-Eating Western foods with a knife and fork and feeling really awkward about how you hold the utensils in your hand. And having your fellow American friends laugh at you because you look really awkward holding a fork.

-J., who is from Long Island and worked in the city for years and years, told me she had to think about how you hail a cab in NYC. She’d forgotten how it differs from the Chinese way. It took her a few minutes to remember. We often have these ‘forgotten culture’ moments.

-Adopting Chinese facial expressions and gestures of displeasure and using them automatically, instead of the American ones. (Oh, I should make a video about these.)

-The little daily habits we have picked up to survive here, such as pushing our way to the front of a crowd, navigating the insanity of supermarket produce departments (serious chaos!), letting people get really, really close to us, raising our voices in bargaining sessions or when someone is trying to cheat us, stepping over rotting garbage, spit bombs, and pee and poo on the streets, carefully navigating crumbling sidewalks and streets (some of us better than others, ha!), moving out of the way for cars and motorcycles on sidewalks, etc. We do these things now rather automatically. We wonder how we will turn off such behavior when we return to America. But as R. wisely said, “When is the last time you had to tell an old Chinese woman to stop pushing you in the back in the checkout line at Target?”

It’s almost comforting to me how adaptable we are as human beings in general. I’m sure I’ll adapt back. But I am sort of in shock that I’ll never again need my Chinese characteristics. I’m not sure how to live like that again.

And on that note, Happy 4th Of July! I hope you all have a wonderful 3 day weekend and celebrations!