Does This Mean It's Possible To ‘Manistrate’? Plus, My Favorite Chinglish T-shirt So Far

A few recent adventures in my Mother Tongue:

1. My friend G. said, “I demanistrated him. Wait, what’s that word I mean? You know, make him less of a man?” It took us about five minutes to pull it out of the deep recesses of our English brains: emasculate. But ‘demanistrate’ is so poetic, is it not? And I think if you can defenestrate, you should also be able to demanistrate. (Okay, I know fenestrate and defenestrate are not actually opposites. But still. It sounds nice.)

2. T.’s parents were here from California this past week to visit him, and it was really fun to meet them! His dad and I were talking and he asked me, “How much longer have you been here than T.?” And my subconscious brain said “Say wha’? That’s a much more complicated grammar structure than I’m used to hearing!” And my tongue said, “A year ago.” Which is, of course, not the right answer. His dad had a brief, ‘Oh, so you’re a little bit slow, aren’t you?’ moment I’m sure. At least I recognized my mistake right away and corrected myself, but I had to do it by giving him the date I arrived, which is how this question is usually asked and answered in Chinese. I couldn’t quite get my tongue around the correct English grammar of saying ‘a year longer than T.’ (Writing is so much easier than speaking! Time to think.)

2a. However, at karaoke last week, we did the full Empire State of Mind and NAILED it; you would have clapped, thrown roses, etc. So at least I still speak a form of English very well, that form being the one where they give you all the words.

3. This isn’t really a Chinglish t-shirt in the traditional sense, but it is culturally very Chinglish, in that it makes no sense for all of this to be on a t-shirt. But that last line is definitely my new go-to insult phrase: I hope my bike takes you straight to hell!