Vaginas, Hearts, Pandas, and Romeo and Juliet

First of all, several of you said the way phone numbers are exchanged in China is how they are also exchanged where you live. I didn’t know this. A good reason to not get a cell phone when I return, I don’t like it!

Second, I can’t see any blogs because my connection isn’t working correctly, so I am way behind in my reading. Sorry about this!

Now, for the actual post. 

Vagina: these advertisements for a local women’s hospital are plastered all over our subway stations recently. Doesn’t their logo look just like a vagina? China is pretty wholesome in their advertising, so this caught my eye. I enjoyed pointing it out to my male friends here, who now feel like perverts for staring at the logo when they are in the subway station. I do what I can.

Heart: I was in a bakery that had some western style brownies. The guy behind the counter spoke some English, and when I went up to the counter he said, “Do you want a brownie?” I nodded, and he said, “I know your heart.” It was so cute. I love how the Chinese translate into English like this, they say the most poetic things. And yes, he did know my heart. I loved that brownie all the way home.

Panda: How cute is this little shaver’s outfit? I love the baby panda backpacks here, so cute! And she wouldn’t turn around again while I had my camera out, but she’s also holding a stuffed monkey. She was adorable.

Romeo and Juliet: V. and I were taking a taxi home from an unfamiliar part of our city, and we knew we’d have to cross a certain bridge to get back, but didn’t know whose neighborhood was first after crossing the bridge. (We live about 3 kilometers apart.) So we got off the bridge, and there were two signs directly in front of us: one for each of our neighborhoods, pointing in opposite directions. At the same time both of us blurted out, “We’re Romeo and Juliet!” And then cracked up, and I’m sure our taxi driver thought we were weirdos, but it was just too funny. I want to go back and take our picture at that junction, throwing down some gang signs or something. Don’t tell our parents!

Chongqing Taxi Cab Confessions, Plus Why It’s Impossible To Give Out A Fake Phone Number In China

Yesterday I was hauling salsa and tortilla cooking ingredients to R.’s house, so I decided to take a taxi instead of the bus. The driver struck up a conversation with me in Mandarin (unusual, because it’s not the everyday spoken language in my city), including how much money I make, how old I am and whether I am married and/or have kids. These are pretty common questions for strangers to ask each other in China. (People are always shocked when I tell them what our monthly stipend is, because it’s roughly on par with street cleaners. I try to explain I am a volunteer teacher, but that kind of thing isn’t common here, so I think they just think I’m getting ripped off teaching English in China.)

When we were near my destination, he asked if he could have my phone number. I get asked for my phone number a lot, and no one ever calls later, they just want the “prestige” of having a foreigner’s phone number in their cell phone. So I gave him the number, and he gave me his. He drove me clear up to my friend’s apartment building, not just her front gate, and then refused to take any money from me for the fare. The guys I had dinner with before we started cooking were teasing me, saying,”Oh, you’re going to pay for that taxi ride when he calls you!” Then one of the guys said, '”No, we’re thinking like Americans. He’s probably going to call you to tutor his niece in English or something.” Which is totally true. On the other hand, if I ever get stranded someplace without a taxi nearby, I’m so calling this dude. I’ll pay him of course, but having a taxi driver’s cell number in China is not a bad thing!

By the way, the way that people exchange phone numbers in China is to give the other person your number, and they immediately call you so that you have theirs. Everyone has a cell phone, so there is pretty much no way to give out a fake number because they’ll call it right in front of you and if your phone doesn’t ring, they’ll keep asking until they get the right number. I’m not even sure they’d understand the concept of fake number giving out of.

Here’s a picture of the salsa and tortillas we made for tonight’s Fiesta party. I’ll be making breakfast tacos out of the tortillas, a Texas specialty.

A Rant About Technology

This has nothing to with living in China.

So I'm a big fan of gchat, as I've mentioned here before. And I have a system. I use iGoogle as my homepage, sort of like my own personal dashboard for the sites I visit most, rss feeds, access to email, and what have you. Gchat is an option in iGoogle, but I disabled it because I actually don't want to be available every time I have a window open. I like you, my friends, but not that much. So I only enable gchat in my actual gmail account page, which I only access when I need to send attachments, search for old mail, actually chat with someone etc. BUT, yesterday these things flip-flopped, and I don't know why, and I can't figure out how to get it back. Google, are you messing with me? Or did I sleep-change all my applications? I can't get iGoogle chat to disable without also disabling it in my gmail window. BUT, chat doesn't show up in my gmail window, even though it is active. Like, none of my contacts load. ARGH!

If I had my way, people would still hand write me letters to communicate with me. Do you know how nice it must have been to have that lag time?? No immediate response required!  One thing I love about China is that there is no voice mail. Texting is great, because you can ignore them until you're ready to answer, but then I always feel guilty that people know you're ignoring them. So yeah, letters, let's bring those back.

These are not real problems, I know. But technology should work the same today as it did yesterday. Is that too much to ask? I don't like waking up and things are different. Routines should just be what they are, and that's that. Also, I am apparently now 80 years old.

UPDATE: 36 hours later, and it's back to the way it was before. Google, stop it.

T Minus 100 (But Who’s Counting?)

Well folks, I now have fewer than 100 days left in my Peace Corps service. Part of me is like FINALLY SOON I CAN EAT TORTILLAS EVERY DAY I NEVER THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD COME HOORAY, part of me is really going to miss the chaos and food and people here, and another part is wondering how I’m going to function again with ongoing daily life in America? Have I forgotten, or is it just dormant? I’m sure it’ll all come rushing back to me, but still, I’m worried. (Ah, anxiety. You are giving me lots of chances to prove how far I’ve come.)

In the meantime, I’ve been swamped with projects, some more important than others. I finished my wiki entry on body image in China. We had another Writer’s Club meeting. And this week I also designed commemorative t-shirt possibilities for the volunteer group being released from service this summer. They are not for sale, they are just fun for us to wear at our Close of Service conference. Here is one of my designs, a play on the famous Bruce Lee movie The Way of the Dragon:

I have more, but there might be some copyright stuff if I post them here, so I won’t. But, I will post a picture of the final shirt we choose!

This Saturday I’m throwing a Fiesta party at my house, to commemorate Fiesta in San Antonio. This is a huge 10 day event in San Antonio, and it’s going on now, and it makes me homesick I’m not there, so the party is a way for me to celebrate from afar. I’ll be making breakfast tacos, salsa and baked treats for my nearest and dearest. Looking forward to it.

Next week I will be in Chengdu for our Close of Service conference, where they tell us how we wrap up our service, finish paperwork, and leave the country officially. At the conference I have to take my final language exam, so I’m busy preparing for that. After the conference, I’ll be staying in Chengdu for the weekend with some friends for Zebra Music Fest. I am really excited about this! Almost like being back at the Austin City Limits Music Fest, but about 50 degrees cooler. And, you know, in Chinese.

My next week and a half will be quite busy, but I’ll try to post updates of these adventures as I can.

A Little More About Starbucks, and Transliteration

A couple of photos from Writer’s Club day at the Starbucks we like to sit in:

 

Starbucks here isn't just a coffee shop, it's a place "hip" Chinese (and regular Westerners) hang out. It's a destination of sorts. Part of this is because it's expensive by Chinese standards, and partly (as far as I can work out) because coffee isn't a popular taste here; if you like coffee, you're a little more open-minded, fashionable, experienced, and glamorous. Sort of like Americans and smelly cheeses or a particular kind of French champagne or wine?

One of my students told me her dream date was to go to Starbucks. So, nice job Starbucks Chinese marketing staff!

The name Starbucks in Chinese is Xing Ba Ke 星巴克。 Xing = Star, Ba = desire or fervent hope, Ke = gram, but also popular for transliterative purposes in general for the 'k' sound.

I think transliteration from Chinese characters into English phonetic sounds is very interesting. My name, Rebecca, traditionally transliterates as Li Bei Sha 丽蓓莎。Li = beautiful, Bei = flower bud, Sha = a type of grass, but it's the same character used for Shakespeare's Chinese transliterative name, Sha Shi Bi Ya, 莎士比亚, so I like it. And do I think it's a little funny the first letter of my name is changed from an R to an L in Chinese? YES.

Most of my students have a hard time with my English name, they call me by my last name, which is easier. And culturally more comfortable for them. I use my Chinese name when talking to non-English speakers because 'Rebecca' makes them panic; I know this because they just smile when I tell them, they don't even try to say it. 

I'm going to miss my Chinese name.

The Writer’s Club

A few weeks ago, we joked that we should have a Chongqing PCV Writer’s Club, in which we’d write bad/cheesy romance pieces, then read them out loud to each other a la open mic beat poetry night. Did I mention it has been raining FOREVER in Chongqing? It’s making us all a little crazy.

So last week in our downtown Starbucks, the Writer’s Club* had their first meeting. (I should mention, Starbucks here are almost like libraries, with sectioned-off rooms, long tables with study lamps for laptops, super comfy couches and lounge chairs, and all the free wi-fi you can handle. You can basically hang out there all day and no one blinks an eye. Also, they make all their specialty coffee drinks in non-coffee versions, which is great. I wish they did this in the U.S. They do this because many Chinese don’t like the taste of coffee. So, a caramel frappuccino will have whole milk instead of coffee, along with the caramel flavorings etc. They also have more teas on the menu here.) We each spent about an hour hunched over notebooks, then read our pieces out loud. Let me tell you, I don’t know when I have laughed so hard in all the time I’ve been in China.

Some were beautifully poetic, some were limericks that an elementary school kid would love to recite, some were hilarious narrative pieces. But the best part to me? Reading them aloud in a Chinese Starbucks, counting on the fact no one nearby spoke fluent-enough English to know what the heck we were talking about.

Language geek sidenote: it’s eye-opening the cultural knowledge it takes to write and understand parody. If any Chinese English speakers HAD been listening, it’s unlikely they would have found it 1/10 as amusing as we did.

I was quite impressed with the writing skills of my fellow PCVers. Can’t wait for our next meeting! I have half a mind to gather and self-publish our pieces as a keepsake for us to take home. For the record, I did a Twilight/Ninja Assassin-themed parody I couldn’t stop laughing through as I read out loud. I won't share the whole thing here, but I will say that one of the lines was, "Need an umbrella, baby? Or do you want more Rain?" ('Rain' of course being the cute Korean star of Ninja Assassin. Now you know why I couldn't stop laughing!)

And yes, when you’re a poor American living in China, this is the sort of thing you find very entertaining. I know you all envy my glamorous life!

*We actually gave it another name, but this is a public blog, so I’m calling it this publicly.

Dismembered Jaws, Plus Shrimp Antennae at Dinner: Discovering Where I Draw The Line

It has been raining every day for almost two weeks straight in Chongqing. I don’t do well without enough sunshine. I feel really blah and sad. There is a reason I love San Antonio so much: abundant sunshine and delicious food. I miss home. And rain makes my sinus problems flare up. I would not have done well on the Ark.

Okay, enough whining, onto the topic of the post: I took this picture on the street over the weekend. The man tried to block my camera, which normally doesn’t happen here, so I figured something must be up. I asked a student, and she said it’s illegal to sell teeth on the street like this. I asked her what animal this is, and she didn’t know. A Google search revealed that teeth from Tibetan wolves are thought to be good luck charms, but I have no clue if these are the jaw bones of Tibetan wolves. But the little jaws in a pile like this made me feel queasy. 



Queasy story #2: We ate a big bowl of Xiang La Xia (香辣虾)“Fragrant Spicy Shrimp” for dinner last weekend. In this dish, shrimp are mixed with onions, garlic, ginger, potato and lotus root in a big bowl and served hot, and the flavor is very spicy and good. (Btw, shrimp here are not beheaded or shelled before serving, you have to do it yourself. I’m used to this.) The shrimp were roasted in their shell, so you could eat the shell, but I still had to remove the head. So I’d pick up the shrimp in my chopsticks, bite the body off, and discard the head.  But in the middle of the meal, I noticed lots of red shrimp antennae loose in the bowl, and it started to gross me out. And then, I felt something in my mouth, and fished out a dismembered red shrimp antennae. This just really put me over the queasy edge. As soon as we got back to V.s apartment, I brushed my teeth to erase any shrimp antennae sensation or taste. I still feel queasy when I think about it. Bull penis? That’s okay. Dismembered shrimp antennae? That’s crossing a line. As delicious as Xiang La Xia is, I don’t think I can ever eat it again.

Have you ever been grossed out while eating something rather innocuous, and can never eat it again?

Body Image and Female Peace Corps China Volunteers

When we join Peace Corps, we get a little booklet about life in our country of service. Our China booklet had a little blurb about some female volunteers struggling with body image because of the cultural beauty standards of China.

I remember thinking at the time, ‘Who cares what their beauty standards are? I’m 35 years old, I’m happy with who I am. Only really insecure girls have this problem, and I am not one of them.’

But, I was unprepared for the reality of living here.

Two years later, I still think I have reasonably good self-esteem, but it has been a challenge at times to live here and not feel bad about my body, or myself. It doesn’t help that I put on some weight when my dad got sick, the result of hours I used to spend running or working out now spent in hospitals or at his home. And not taking care of my health due to grief and worry. If there is any time in your life when you shouldn’t be concerned about your weight, it is when a parent has terminal cancer! But then I come to China and get told I am too fat to shop in the dress stores. I asked a Chinese friend to help me find a tailor to get a qipao made, and she said I should wait a few months until I am thinner. (The standard of beauty here is to weigh about 90 lbs.) Most foreign men who come to China want to date Chinese girls, and Chinese men are scared of American girls, so you are almost socially undateable for two years of your life. These things might start to affect you when they happen all at once. I was humbled to have to ask myself, “How good is my self-esteem really?” (Sometimes, not where it should be.) I’m on a program to get back to my personal healthy standard I was at before my dad got sick, but these things take time when they’re done right. So in the meantime, it’s a good opportunity to think about where and how I maintain my self-esteem.

We have a new peer counseling program, and the leaders of the program are developing a wiki page. They asked me to contribute something about female volunteers’ issues and possible advice, so this topic has been on my mind as I prepare my submission. I don’t know yet for sure what I’ll say for the wiki page, but I’m glad they’re taking the time to talk about it. It’s something we female volunteers talk about amongst ourselves, but that’s a small circle. I hope future volunteers will come to China a little more prepared than we were, with some good solutions for the hard times. I hope I can leave some wisdom behind for them.

Ain't Just A G(irl) Thing, Bay-bay

Phone conversation I had today with T.:

(Ring ring!)

Me: "Hey."
T.: "I can't find the office."
Me: "What?"
T.: "I'm on campus but I can't find the office. Oh wait, is it by the bell?"
Me: "Wait, what? It's Rebecca. Did you mean to call me?"
T.: "Yeah, I meant to call you. Is the office near the bell, am I on the right road?"
Me: "My campus?"
T:. "No, Sichuan."
Me: "Oh, you mean the Peace Corps office?"
T.: "Yeah, I'm walking there now."
M.: "Oh, yeah, I guess maybe there is a bell there." (Sidenote: I've never noticed a bell, but whatevs.) "Is there a big track and basketball court to your left?"
T.: "Yeah, I'm walking past them now." (Sidenote: Why use a bell as a landmark when there's a whole block of track and courts!?) "Wait, okay, I see where it is. Bye."

My dad used to observe that I start conversations in my head, then start speaking out loud in the middle of them and expect people to know what I'm talking about, and that this conversational strategy is sometimes hard to follow. Other guys I know have said this, too. (One recently: "You use a lot of footnotes when you talk.") Although interestingly, my female friends have never noticed, or at least never complained. But apparently this phenomenon? Not just a girl thing.

(And yes, I knew he was going to Sichuan U. today but totally forgot in that moment he'd be there already. I'm not known for my attention to details.)

Btw, thank you for your comments on the video. I was quite nervous to post it. It's a bit long, if I do one again, I'll try to keep it down to 3 minutes. I might do one to show interesting Chinese beauty products.

My First Video Chat: Chinese Snacks

Here is the video I talked about yesterday. I forgot to mention, yogurt is popular here, but not cheese. I'm not sure why one kind of dairy but not the other is so popular.

I hope you enjoy it.

Shallow Post of the Week: Rain and His Case of Abs

So our weekend dinner party was a lot fun. The food was delicious, the conversation witty and entertaining, and we capped the night off with a little Rain. Rain in Ninja Assassin, that is.

Let me tell you, this movie is bloody. So bloody it’s not even really gory, just super bloody. CGI bloody. Non-scary, cartoonish bloody. And the plot? I didn’t really understand all of it, but here’s a summary: Rain plays an orphan raised to be a ninja assassin. He is estranged from his clan. The clans are hired by world governments to carry out political assassinations. Why the clan cares Rain left them, I don’t know. But they do. And Europol wants to question him. (Is that real thing? Or an Interpol knock-off? I’m too lazy to Google that right now.) So Rain gets kidnapped by Europol and then by his clan. Along the way a ton of people die. BUT, we also get this montage of Rain practicing his ninja skills in his barren apartment. The push-ups-on-nails scene alone was enough for me to declare this Best Movie About Ninjas Featuring A Korean Popstar Ever! (And yes, that is Rain, not a stunt double.)

This is not just a six-pack of abs, my friends. This is a full 24-count case. Click this link for the video. Enjoy.

(Can’t embed the video, it’s a long story. But click! It’s worth it!)

Btw, Rain became very famous after playing the lead in a Korean television romance called Full House. If you want to see a fan video summary, click here. He looks a little ‘softer’ than in Ninja Assassin.

In other news, I have had a sinus headache for the past two days. I’ve been spending a lot of time in bed with a hot washcloth on my face, trying to clear out my sinuses. Not working. But as soon as I feel better, I’m preparing a vlog for you on Chinese treats. Another writer I read, Ily, tagged me to do it. She is an awesome writer, artist and person. 

Informal Lessons in Chinese Culture

Some of the most memorable things I’ve learned about Chinese culture have come from conversations in my classroom.

For example, two weeks ago we were doing a debate activity, and the topic was whether it is better to get married or stay single. One of the students asked, “How will you register your baby if you’re not married?” As the moderator, I wanted to stop the whole discussion with a yellow flag on the play. Wait, what? If you’re single, you can’t register your baby? I had no idea.

So I later asked a trusted Chinese friend about it, and she confirmed that if a single woman has a baby, the baby can’t be registered for a hukou (residence papers) or an ID card (similar to registering for a social security number). This in turn means the baby can’t go to school or receive any medical care.

I did some research online and found this very enlightening article from the New York Times. The article mentions issues with education and medical care for these babies, tied to the lack of proper identification; without this identification paperwork, they exist outside the system. They even interview a girl who lives in my city. (Shanghai seems to be exempt from this single mother policy. Shanghai is also exempt from the one child policy.)

This is just one example of how one little statement can change your complete understanding of the culture here. If you live in China, it’s very important to keep your ears open. It also explains for me why most people here don’t live together without eventually getting married, and why unmarried moms often don’t have the baby or give it up for adoption. In the U.S., it seems we try to make these decisions a question of morality, but these decisions are perhaps made for different reasons here. I often make the mistake of trying to understand Chinese culture through my own lens.

English Phrase Of The Week

"Sudden onset cryabeetus"

Meaning: crybaby whiners. I'm going to start using this in everyday conversation, stat.

(From the bottom of the page here.)

While we're at it, how about a Chinese phrase of the week?

"An lian" ("暗恋")

Meaning: to be secretly in love. Kind of like a crush, but more serious and dramatic, like Jim-for-Pam, Days Of Our Lives kind of love. You can use it as a verb instead of a noun or adjective, which makes it more fun. I am fond of saying, 'I anlian him.'  But I use it more as a joke, not as a real condition.

What's your favorite phrase? I say "evidently" a lot at the beginning of sentences. Or, "Sooo, evidently..." And "suspicious" to sum up.

Stuff I’ve Learned

1. Any food you eat in bed tastes exponentially better.

2. It’s okay to admit you hate camping. When I was younger, I sort of made myself believe I liked the outdoors because most of the guys I was interested in were mountain men on the side. The truth is, I like hot showers and seafood buffets and soft hotel beds, so sue me!  On the plus side, when you admit that out loud, you find the people who feel the same way. Amazing.

3. Something more expensive that will last over time is a much better deal than cheaper and easily broken. This is especially true of shoes and appliances.

4. The question is not “Are you single?” The question should be: “Are there any girls who you know think they’re your girlfriend?”

5. Sometimes what is holding us back is the fear of our own success, either because we don’t think we deserve it, or we don’t want the responsibility that comes with it.

6. A guy who wants to help you carry your bags or pay for things doesn’t necessarily think you’re incompetent or needy; it’s sometimes just how he learned to show he’s interested in you. It’s okay to accept these things graciously. And to give back. 

7. A man who makes you laugh is 90% of the way to smoochville.

8. We don’t always know what people have been through in their lives. It’s okay to feel forgiveness and compassion when they’ve let their past influence them to be someone who hurts you.  It’s also okay, if the situation warrants, to not let them have access to hurt you again.

9. First Class? Very often, worth the extra money.

10. Cheese is really, really, really, really good and eating it while you ponder can help you solve a lot of problems.