Life On The D-List*

Last week Tristan made an astute observation: "In China, we're like D-list celebrities." It's true: people don't know our names, but they recognize us and want to know what we're doing, buying and eating. And they want to be our friend. (I think Tristan said this because some kids came to our table during dinner to stare/talk to us while we were eating; he's a tall, muscular, tough-looking guy who shaves his head. I love watching people spot him on the sidewalk, then get out of the way.) People treat us like we're living in our own little reality show, and they want to be a part of it. This isn't a bad thing, but after over a year here, I am still not comfortable with being treated differently. However, it does make for some interesting and/or unusual interactions.

For example, this past week, I got a random call from a girl I didn't remember but evidently sat next to on the bus going to school. People here are always asking for our phone numbers, and I used to be hesitant about giving it out, but then I realized they don't really call you, they just want a foreigner's phone number in their cell phone. But this girl did call, and asked me to meet her for lunch. I jokingly called it my first Chinese blind date, because I didn't remember her at all! Turns out she's an accounting major at my school and has to take a Business English certificate exam in November; she wants to practice her English conversations skills so she has a better chance of passing the exam, and in turn getting a better job. I'm glad to help her out because helping students is the main reason I'm here in the Peace Corps. And I am especially mindful of helping the girls, who have historically faced disadvantages.

So, living life on the D-list isn't comfortable for me, and I doubt it ever will be, but if it allows me opportunities to help people out, I can't complain. But I still look forward to anonymity when I return to the U.S.!

In other news, I have back-to-back holidays this week and next: National Day (October 1st, celebrating the founding of the People's Republic of China under the Chinese Communist Party, and Mid-Autumn Festival, a harvest and family reunion holiday. I have 3 days off from school for each holiday, so I don't have to go back to school until next Friday, Oct. 9th. I'll be doing some fun things around the city on my days off. Hope you all have a great weekend!

*Stolen from the title of Kathy Griffin's reality series.

Cry

How many times should a man's behavior cause tears before you remove yourself from the situation? 1? 2? 5? 25?

I'm curious about what you think. I think I let the number go way too high. I want to believe the best about people, so I really believed his apologies were sincere. But nothing changed.

How long do you let jerky behavior go on before you know things aren't going to change? I'm embarrassed to say how long it took me. But, it will never happen that way again.

What Do Men Want?

I think men and women who care for each other, whether friends, romantic relationships, or whatever, should do things for each other to show their care and concern. But, I'll admit it is sometimes hard for me to know what these things should be, for several reasons. 

First, men are different and what one guy likes, another guy may not care about at all. Duh. But, most of us don't broadcast this information right up front. So until you spend enough time together to know what they like, it's basically a blind stumble. 

Second, yeah, yeah, I KNOW what men like. It's pretty easy to play to the lowest common denominator. But, surely there has to be more than that? Right? If you only try the lowest common denominator stuff, you might never get to the second tier, personalized stuff. I think the second tier stuff is great. I don't want a relationship without it. 

Third, well, some men are just not great at giving feedback on what they like and don't like. I'm trying to remember this on the opposite end of the deal, and be more open about my likes and dkislikes. (Luckily, I tend to like pretty simple things; it's not hard at all to please me.)

Fourth, perhaps I am just retarded. Sometimes I feel like I have Aspberger's, I just can't figure out how to do things that seem so easy for other people. Maybe that's the situation here. 

To me, there is nothing worse in a relationship than trying to do something you think the guy would like, only to find out they couldn't give a rat's ass about it. It makes me feel like we really shouldn't be together. 

Dancing

I live in a cool city. Just in the past week or so have I really felt comfortable enough to explore. I am still always the first one to come home, but finally having a bit of fun here. Tonight I danced my heiny off in a club that switches to Western music when foreigners are there. I never expected to be dancing to reggaeton in China, but it was a blast! (Here I am with one of the other volunteers, you can see my neighborhood in the background. Click to enlarge.)