Not bad. Plain.
So this is life now: work hard, go to bed early, get up early, meditate, read, study, make time for friends, talk over the internet with far-flung well-loved friends, make vacation plans, work on art projects, watch Community, shop for food, do laundry, clean, Netflix in bed, cook, do all of these things many times all over again.
It's a good life. I'm adapting to life here in the American Western desert, but it sure does take some getting used to.
I've met some fun people here and I'm reminded again that 99% of people in this world are good-hearted and kind and worth knowing. I'm now able to accept I liked those not-so-good guys in my past because I didn't believe I was worth more than how they treated me. It's hard to admit that, but overcoming it has made a big difference in my life. Kind and steady beats jerky and exciting any day of the week. This is truth. The guys who have taught me this are decent, as well as sexy and exciting. (Yes, it is possible to be all three.)
Having said that, I don't think I have much else to say these days. Maybe it is the winter blahs. Maybe it is because I have been writing here for four years (!), and probably it is time for me to do something else. Maybe because this week, the volunteer who replaced me at my school died. (Very sad and tragic.) It has made me reflective of what my life has meant so far. And what it will mean in the future. My birthday is this month, a good time for a new start for me. I'll never delete these posts, because people read them and email me for advice about China or the Peace Corps and this makes my day! I'm not sure what else I'll say here. But these things I've said, they were very important to me. Thanks for listening, and commiserating, and sharing.
Many of you have been silent readers. Thanks to you too, for taking the time to listen.
As we say in China, 再见！
I can't imagine you running out of things to say...good things.
ReplyDeleteI have loved reading all your posts about China and about LIFE. You are very wise...and I find you especially intelligent for your age.
Oh, and your wittiness. Love that too.
I hope this is not the end!!!!
xoxoxo
Suz
Don't stop writing on your blog. Maybe it's just time to alter your blog... like I did. I took my hiatus and came back, stronger...with different things to say.
ReplyDeleteI love reading your blog my friend!
Hey its going to be so disappointing to have nothing to read from your side :(
ReplyDeleteOh this was sad to read, and a surprise. I've really enjoyed your blog and I hope you don't give up. You give me the impression of someone who will always have things to write about.
ReplyDeleteMaybe just have a break and see how you feel?
Aww, I hope you don't stop blogging. You're the reason I ever log onto blogger in the first place. I love keeping up with you in this way. I can appreciate the feeling of the "winter blahs" and not feeling like you have anything to write. I hope that any break you take will only be temporary.
ReplyDeleteWhen the night skies dawn hard on me, when my emotion gushes in the wilderness of sorrow, I turn to many blogs, written by many different people from many cultures about many different aspects of life, and your blog is one among the many. I re-read the posts many times. It gives me some insights into life, increase the level of acceptance on some events in life, and most of all these write ups give me a deepest sense of appreciation about life. I respect your decision very much. A stranger you are, yet your writes on personal issues as well as on some general issues do teach me some lessons. As the saying goes, nothing is permanent but change, not just you, everyone needs that change for the betterment of life itself.
ReplyDeleteReading your blog makes me smile broadly in my loneliness. It is a panacea which kills boredom. You need a break. Take a dip. Take a sip. I hope it won't be too much, if I request you to continue writing. Please.
If your decision is final, you are always welcomed to visit me in my dreams and relate the stories. From cyberspace to astral world:)
Um - you're not ending your blog, are you?
ReplyDeleteI'll be lost :-(
Thank you all for your advice and letting me know you enjoyed reading. It means a lot. It will be a long break, if it is a break and not finished. I won't say never, though.
ReplyDelete:)Positive.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for sharing so many of your experiences and stories. I can't tell you how much I've enjoyed reading and learning.
ReplyDeleteI don't want this to sound stalkerish, but can we be facebook and/or email friends?
Happy Birthday! You always come up with the best stories and posts so I am gonna keep coming back. Hope this isnt your last post!
ReplyDeleteSometimes we dont know what others think of us. Thats blogs for ya! I am rarely impressed by someone's writing but honestly I have talked about your blog in real life conversations. I was out with someone who was a Peace Corps volunteer and I told her about you. I think the way you portrayed China was just brilliant.
I'm sure people would agree.
Please please PLEASE don't stop blogging. I know you're in a dry "season" right now... but keep in mind it's just THAT... a SEASON, and nothing more. You're so smart, witty, and wise... and you have such good things to say. Take a hiatus if you must, but please don't stop. I (and from the looks of all these comments, WE) will be Very Very Sad!!
ReplyDeleteOH I am so sorry to hear about the volunteer who replaced you in China.
ReplyDeleteSometimes a little break from writing is all that is needing to get the juices flowing again. I do truly hope this isn't goodbye! I have loved reading about your adventures:)